I've been married 20 yrs, 2 DC 12 and 14. It's been a rocky road for us. I really wished it hadn't have been. It is a way too long winded story to go into but there have been many times I should have left him over the years. Trust/dating sites/ etc. Lots of gaslighting and him trying to make out I'm taking things out of proportion/paranoid etc but he's crossed the line so many times I do wonder why I'm still with him sometimes. So a few days ago he mentioned instead of wfh (newish job) he could go into a local work location (not his as he's field based) rather than wfh. My spidey senses were up and I did question him on it. He said he finds it hard to wfh as too many distractions. I've been wfh 18 months all through homeschooling and found it ok. He mentioned the need to 'make coffee, put washing on, tidy up etc'. This is his first ever job he's been able to wfh at so I understand he finds it weird but he got v pissed off with me when I questioned him. I admit i was distrustful about his reasons. That night he slept in spare room. Next day he didn't end up working at said location (he wfh) and when I mentioned lack of distractions he got really arsey with me and said I was an idiot and an arsehole and kept asking why I was being sarcastic. In the end he came to the conclusion that I didn't trust him and I kept quiet. It's like the elephant in the room all the time with me. I really want to trust him. He's great in so many ways. I just don't trust him. I'm constantly waiting for the next 'thing'. So tonight he's come home from the football drunk and sloped off to bed and I've looked at his phone (never normally a chance). In fb spam messages I've found 2 dodgy looking messages. This is one of them. I've had some odd spam message over the yrs so I know stuff crops up on fb. What do you think?