Falling in love with everyone!

[GremlinDolphin4]

I’m 3 years out of a long (and abusive) marriage. I am enjoying being single, I don’t feel particularly emotionally “needy” and enjoy my own company and have good friends, family and dcs.

But, how do I trust myself to meet someone as I get really romantically attached to people really easily in my head! As examples my car broke down last week and the RAC man was lovely and I was literally planning out life together on the way to the garage, I have a friend of over 20 years who I am seeing again and again am massively over planning in my head!

It’s like my brain desperately needs to have these connections and it makes me not trust myself and what I’m feeling.

Does anyone understand what I mean or offer any advice?

Sounds like you are being validated by strangers. Stay off that road

I used to do this OP. Life has taught me, harshly, to stop. You literally have to tell yourself NO. If you dont, when you date you will become attached to every man you like / date and that is a recipe for disaster.
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I totally know what you mean OP. Lovely guy fixed my roof... imagined us married. Brother of a friend... imagined us together. For me being separated for 4 years following many toxic years with ex I guess I'm craving love and stability. But it doesn't make it any easier to cope with.

I think we are all sold the romantic dream from a very early age and it's easy and almost encouraged to daydream/romanticise about every half decent guy (and even the not so decent ones).

Are you lonely?
Are you looking for a relationship?

I'm happily single, but I would give my eye teeth for a loving relationship with a great guy - but when you're dating 99.9% of the time it doesn't work out that way...which is why we dream...

I do this, too!

I do this. I’ve been single a long time and haven’t had many dates. My next plan is to really go for it and have as many first dates in a short timespan as I can to break the cycle I’m in.

For example, the last ‘first meet’ I went on, I was wondering how I’d be with his children, how many bedrooms we’d have to have, how much flexibility he has with location, etc etc etc BEFORE we had met. My brain just runs away with it all until I snap out of it and stop.

No harm really as long as you know it's silly and just a cheerful thing to think/ fantasise about!

If obsessive/ sad not going to see again or get with/ tempted to do things irl/ etc then not good.

As long as just happy thoughts then sounds like your brain things freedom! And is having fun looking around.

So as long as all happy and limited to fantasy then I don't think a prob.