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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to cope after finding out husband was cheating

6 replies

bellaella18 · 05/11/2021 21:29

I have just found out that my husband cheated on me with multiple women last year when he was on holiday "to visit his family". He even brought a woman to the UK back with him, stayed in London and Manchester in luxury hotels and then paid for her flight back home. We have separated earlier this year for other reasons besides the cheating (I wasn't aware of it then). He's been away for 4 months now and I'm in the marital home with DD.

I was completely fine throughout the separation. But, when I found out what he was up to whilst we were 'happily married' made me feel really shit. I also worked my ass off to help him with his business, not knowing that money he made he'd spend on other women. I really don't know how to cope with all of these emotions. I don't have a lot of family and friends, so really no one I can open up to about this.

How can I make myself feel better? I took DD to the soft play today, but was so sad and upset, I couldn't enjoy our time together.

OP posts:
Sonaftersonafterson · 05/11/2021 23:28

No magic wand. You're angry and shocked and you have to process and feel that. Tell him you know?! Not that it matters now but it might help offload your wrath. Xxx

bonfireheart · 06/11/2021 10:21

Time

layladomino · 06/11/2021 16:59

Remind yourself that it was all about him and not you. He was a cheating, lying, selfish arse and there's nothing you could do about that.

He never deserved you. You were unlucky to get landed with him.

It's now in the past. You are free to move on and be happy. He is stuck with being an arse forever.

cowburp · 06/11/2021 17:01

Scream into your pillow and have a cry. If you bottle it up it will be harder to heal. I'm so sorry xxxxx

bellaella18 · 07/11/2021 14:33

Thank you all. Feeling a bit better today.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 07/11/2021 14:40

It's always a horrible time when you realise you don't know your own history. You had no idea what he was up to and he lied to keep you unaware. It's so horrible and I'm so sorry you're in this situation now. You've got rid of him - are the finances sorted? It's time to fill your life with things that make you happy. He's so clearly in the wrong that I wouldn't feel I had to pander to anything he wanted ever again.

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