Am I wasting my time?

[totallytotalled]

I've been seeing a guy for just over a couple of months.

We had a failed attempt at sex early on but he doesn't like condoms so I asked him to do an STI test. This was roughly six weeks ago, he said he had the test about 3 weeks ago (took him ages to order it). But I asked him if he's done it and he hasn't yet!!

Most times I see him we do other things but mostly concentrated on him.

When I brought up the test again he said he was scared of needles so hadn't done it yet.

I explained that I'm getting really frustrated as it will be nearly three months before we can (hopefully have sex!) and he ended up getting really defensive and we argued. We have since made up but it's a bit of a red flag for me.

I really like him and want to give it a go but how long is reasonable to wait? And why would he not want to move things along?

I’d give this one a swerve.

At best, he’s disinterested and disorganized.

At worst, he’s trying to hide something from you.

Are you sure he's not just trying to avoid sex? Maybe it wasn't a condom issue at all. Agree he's trying tp hide something.

I'd stop doing other things that are mostly concentrated on him for a start.

I’d dump him. He’s hiding things from you.

The best case scenario is that he doesn't really care all that much about wanting to have sex with you. That's the best case scenario. Delete.

@Thingsdogetbetter

Are you sure he's not just trying to avoid sex? Maybe it wasn't a condom issue at all. Agree he's trying tp hide something.

I do think he's trying to avoid sex, although I just don't know why

@whistleryukon

The best case scenario is that he doesn't really care all that much about wanting to have sex with you. That's the best case scenario. Delete.

Yes I'm starting to think this too

You are not compatible. There is an issue with sex for him which he is not willing to disclose. I would move on

LTB.

He’s not prepared to put himself out for you - with a condom, with a test, with foreplay, or with an honest discussion. You’ve given him plenty of time.

Nah…he’s indifferent from the outset. Not good enough.

@Honeyroar

He’s not prepared to put himself out for you - with a condom, with a test, with foreplay, or with an honest discussion. You’ve given him plenty of time.

Or this.

Wow that is a lot of time to spend on someone so disinterested and unconcerned with your pleasure!

You deserve so much better, and to dump earlier, e.g. at the point he refused to wear a condom!!!

@Honeyroar

He’s not prepared to put himself out for you - with a condom, with a test, with foreplay, or with an honest discussion. You’ve given him plenty of time.

I think you've hit the nail on the head there. It's a shame as we really get on. And for a while I didn't want to pressure him into anything but the total inaction for so long is showing me he's not that bothered.

I'd be livid that you are basically servicing he needs and he is returning the favour!! You said it focuses mainly on him, forget that.

Delete

If he's trying to avoid sex now are you happy to enter a sexless relationship?

@nomorefrogs

If he's trying to avoid sex now are you happy to enter a sexless relationship?

That was pretty much my exact words to him when we fell out about it!