So I always loved Christmas. My mum has always gone bg on it and it just rubbed off. I loved it so much that I got married just before Christmas and it was amazing.
That was 17 years ago. Four years ago, just before Christmas, my husband had been acting 'off' so I asked him what was wrong and he said he wasn't happy, wasn't sure why, wasn't sure if he still loved me but wanted things to get better and certainly didn't make any attempt to leave.
I was distraught as we had always had a very strong marriage, 2 kids, many long standing mutual friends (we met when we were 16) and this was a complete shock to me. I tried everything I could to make things ok but didn't really know what had gone wrong.
Anyway, a few days after Xmas he went back to work and while I was changing our bed I saw his ipad. I looked on it...not really knowing why but hoping to find some insight and I found messages between him and a younger woman at work. Long story short - they were planning future Christmases together, talking about 'when' they would be together, etc.
When he got home from work that day his bag was packed and our marriage was over.
SInce then, I have found Christmas terribly difficult with our wedding anniversary and memories of family christmases and us separating all within a week or so of each other. The last 3 years I have wanted to hibernate until its all over but have put on a brave face for our children and carried on as best I can.
Yesterday though,I was shopping and saw a couple of decorations I liked. I hadn't bought anything new for Xmas since we separated and I decided that this year will be different. I am not letting what he did spoil another Christmas...it's time to move on and reclaim Christmas. I bought the decorations and yes, I know it's way early but they are up on my shelf and I think will now signify this breakthrough for me every year when I get them out 
So to anyone else struggling for similar reasons...it may take time but I hope you get your breakthrough too x