Going on a date so soon after relationship?

[Drawey]

Ex partner ended relationship a few weeks ago, I was/am devastated. He said he'd like to stay in touch but haven't heard from him since! I haven't been too good, crying a lot and went on tinder for a distraction. Started chatting to someone who has asked me out for lunch at weekend. I don't know what to do?! It feels too soon and I am half hoping ex will come back and say he's made a mistake (most likely won't happen). Or should I forget ex and meet this new guy for lunch?

In the past I would have had a very long break before even contemplating going back to OLD so this is quite unlike me. Plus I didn't think someone would ask me out so soon. Wwyd?

I threw exh out. Had a 3 month fling weeks later!!
They say the quickest way to get over a man is to get under one!!
Worked a treat!!

I went on dates when my ex was still living with me. For practical reasons he couldn't move out.

If you're that upset, I think it would be a mistake to go on a date at the moment. You might well enjoy it while you're there but afterwards you might get the most awful comedown, even if the date goes really well, you're still holding a torch for your ex, so nobody can compete with that at the moment. You're using Tinder as a distraction which is understandable, but could you hold back potential dates? Just be honest with them and say it's a bit too soon?

Maybe give a thought to the guy who has asked you on a date as well? Would you be happy to go on a date with someone who is extremely upset over his ex and hoping for her to come back?

Yes maybe too soon then

Too soon

It’s not really fair on the guy

What have you got to lose?! It’s just lunch! Go have fun, get dressed up, flirt a little. Who knows, maybe he could end up being someone special.

If you don't feel quite ready just honestly let him know you're not quite ready for dating on the other hand, it is just a date and neither of you have any obligations to meet again if you don't feel the connection.

I wouldn't if you're feeling the way you are. You want your ex back and you've said it's too soon. You won't just forget the ex. It can make you miss them more because it highlights that you would rather the date was with them.

Don't force yourself to be ready when you're not, you could set yourself back.

It’s Tinder, not ‘MarryMeNow’. Go out, have fun, have lots of dates. A date is just a chance to meet up with someone new and have a bit of a laugh. As long as you pay your way and don’t make any promises you’re not doing anything wrong. You won’t be the only person this guy is talking to and he shouldn’t be the only person you’re talking to.

@Pumpkinsonparade

I threw exh out. Had a 3 month fling weeks later!! They say the quickest way to get over a man is to get under one!! Worked a treat!!

TBH there's something to be said for this. The end of a relationship can mean crushing loneliness, and having someone to go out for drinks with and have a bit of fun can really help with that, without any of the obligations and issues of a real relationship. It's important to be clear that you're not up for anything more than casual, though. I let myself be talked into a full blown relationship when I had just got out of a very traumatic one (cheated on and lied to) and that was really bad for me. Make sure it has an end date!