Hi all first time doing this but I've no one to turn to for advice,
I'm with my current partner a yeah and a half we are currently live together and I have my 4 year old son too (he's not the biological father) my boyfriend is doing work with coaching soccer players in a well known club and he has now been moved to coach older groups because the current coach has got an internship for a year out of it and is now moving to Sweden as the position my boyfriend took up before this one that coach got an internship and moved to Switzerland, now my boyfriend has always said he doesn't want a mortgage as it doesn't give you 'options' as to what he would want to do or it would narrow choices for him down, he has also said he's never really wanted children and doesn't want to get married. I mean he says "oh but you don't know where we will be in a year or 2s time" I mean I feel like im living in limbo because I know it's his dream and all he really wants to do is to go really far in his career and I know it would be a dream of his to do it its just I can't go with him I've a 4 year old son here and his dad has custody on the weekends through court so I can't up and leave.
I know when he gets this opportunity he's going to jump at it and I can't imagine him turning it down for me, but he probably thinks I can sit at home and wait for him (he also made a comment about the other coaches going that they might get kept on in Sweden or Switzerland) I mean I don't think my boyfriends coaches would be putting him forward for the better positions in the club unless they knew he was going down the same path and to apply for these internship too.
I don't know what I'm doing I brought it up yesterday with him and I was very upset crying and he doesn't really have an answer and he's says but it's a year or two away and I said i understand that but I can't be expected to sit here and for that time to come around just for you to actually up and leave me. It's waiting for the inevitable to happen and there's nothing I can do about it I feel it in my bones that's how this is going to play out.
He got a phone call when we were in his mother's last week about all of this and his mam says thats great it's what you've wanted and enjoy the good news ( I think my boyfriend is next on the list for this internship which would be next year) it's just I don't think anyone is thinking about me or my son. What about when he does get it you know I'll be left behind and forgotten about because he will accept it and I'm not a thought. I couldn't cope and I can't really cope right now thinking about it because I know it's going to happen. I said to my boyfriends well why would you be putting all this time and energy tlinto this coaching alunless that would be the outcome your hoping for. He said I don't know. I can't get a proper answer from him. It's like he's worried about our relationship ending now?
But I don't know are we wasting our time prolonging this relationship if in the end he's just going to up and leave me and my son anyway. There's alot that can happen in a years time from now I know that but I don't think much will be happening with a marriage or children or somthing more committed than what we have right now.
But I'm still here because ei live him and don't want to lose him but I will lose him when this internship comes around because I won't be expecting him to say no to it. He's also always said that he like to live abroad and I guess that's he opportunity to do it all really.
Please help with advice and any questions.