Single...now what?

[supersingle]

Single, after several years together (on and off). I say "together" but the whole relationship was a joke. Years of no progress, of him acting like a spoilt man child, of him being an ass then blaming me for his behaviour, never listening to my opinions or feelings, making me feel like a bad person and being nasty to him for pointing out things that weren't right, lying to my face when he got caught out lying or being unfaithful. Gaslighting I suppose. I'm lonely and have very low self esteem and he's manipulative, so I kept getting back with him, but no more! We live separately, not married and no children together so this should be easy.
I'm determined this ending will be the beginning of some amazing things, of me now living my life to the fullest...but where to start. I need to keep myself busy and make a to do list...any ideas?

I think a new hairdo/wardrobe and a sunshine holiday is always a good place to start if possible.

A new you in a new place.
Well done for getting shot of the shitty ex!

Well spme

Sorry, mistyped random shit at the bottom of pp lol

Gym, evening classes, out walking, hiking, go shopping on a Saturday afternoon even just browsing around a market, go for a drive, book a nice couple of days on your own to do exactly as you please, buy some books, buy some art therapy books, start mountain biking, binge on Netflix, get pissed on wine listening to your favourite music.

But most of all be thankful to yourself for finally fucking off a complete waste of space. I know how hard it is being alone trust me I know it more than people would believe. But being in a "situationship" with someone who doesn't love you is far, far lonelier than your own peaceful solitude.

Good luck x

Give yourself time and space to heal from his fuckwittery, think about the learning from this relationship so you don’t take the same patterns into the next. Give yourself the gift of growth while you have the time to work on yourself.

Psycho babble wankery it may be, but there’s merit in it.

I've been in a relationship (6 years) which became a marriage that ultimately led to no progress, so I can relate to your frustrations.

How old are you Op? Do you own a property or if you'd like to? What are your views on having children? Take time to really decide that it is that you'd like to work towards in the immediate future.

What are you kidding?
(1) Fart at the top of your anal range every morning.
(2) Dance in front of mirrors to yourself.
(3) Swear, burp, laugh raucously whenever you can.
(4) Remember the music you like (try BBC Radio 6 for inspiration if too much time has elapsed).
(5) Think why the fuck did you ever need any external validation (this might take some counselling).
(6) Take up animal husbandry.
(7) Only welcome someone into your life if they add to your life (if they complete it, see (5).
Good luck, you are possibly about to blossom!

Thanks for all the suggestions.Im making a big list.

being in a "situationship" with someone who doesn't love you is far, far lonelier than your own peaceful solitude. Very wise words @NotExactlyOptimistic

*Give yourself time and space to heal from his fuckwittery, think about the learning from this relationship so you don’t take the same patterns into the next. Give yourself the gift of growth while you have the time to work on yourself.
*I will be doing this. I'm starting to understand why I stayed for so long in a situation that made me feel even worse about myself (and why he chose me) but absolutely have lots more learning and growing (and as cheesy as it might sound-learning to love myself) to do.

Don't look back, just look forward - to everything you've ever wanted to do. Make plans. Try new things. Do as myrtlehuckingfuge said!
I'm a couple of months in from ditching my ex and have decided to stay single for now. It's great not having to make an effort/please anyone else. Not to have to fit in with anyone else's plans or put up with flakiness. For once, I'm at peace with myself, if that makes sense.