Hello. I would really appreciate any insight as I don't know what to do. Basically my daughter doesn't want to see or speak to her Dad. There is quite a back story and I understand why she feels this way. But I don't know what to do. I am sorry if this is long.
I had 50/50 shared care of our 9 year old with my Ex-H. In the last year he started to have MH problems and has been taken to A+E a couple of times but not sectioned. During this time the care has been more flexible and he has let me know when he didn't be up to having our daughter stay.
A couple of months ago he had a row with his wife when her daughter and her 2 friends were there and he asked me to collect them all. Our daughter was really upset. She didn't want to speak to him and he later called her crying which was distressing for her.
After that she would just visit for a couple of hours. We agreed she would stay one night and him or his wife would let me know if there were any issues. Later that night my daughter text and asked me to collect her as him and his wife were arguing. (I later found our he'd taken his wife's phone off her which is why she didn't tell me herself). When I arrived I could hear them shouting outside and it looked like they were pushing each other. My daughter was so distressed and said she was frightened her step mum would be hurt. I called the police and the next day he took another overdose.
About a month has passed now and apparently he is feeling a lot better (I am not sure about this). But our daughter doesn't want to see or speak to him. Last week he sent her some messages asking why she won't speak to him and saying ok don't have a daddy then.
He can't understand why she feels like this and says things like I have never hurt her or shouted at her. It was just an argument and she was upstairs anyway. He can't see the impact of what's happened and that is not just about an argument. He feels she is a child and we are her parents so we should just tell her to see him. I do want them to reconcile but don't know how to support this and I don't want our daughter to have her feelings ignored. I just can't see a way forward.