How to support friend whose husband is "in love" with his trainee

[Frymetothemoon]

Came out of the blue this morning.

He is my closest male friend. We have known each other for around 30 years. His wife has been on the scene for 25 and they have been through thick and thin together. Yesterday, he told his wife he is in love with his trainee and has kissed her.

I told her not to let him blame her, that she is strong, that he needs to make his decision and take the consequences.

What else should I say? How else can I support her? He doesn't know that I know, although I suggested to her that she could maybe suggest to him that he contacts me.

Anything else I can do?

'He says Will go (therapy) if she arranges it' oh hiw very magnanimous of him 'hey, I'm shagging someone else but I'm up for discussing staying with you with a therapist, provided you do all the actua leg work' :/

Id tell her to get her ducks in a row and leave him unless he pulls out all the stops to appologise and sort his bloody shit out.

He has said he will go if she arranges it, so fingers crossed.

No, no and thrice no. Cheaters are motivated by loss. Rather than arranging therapy I'd recommend she kick him out (not because it's unsalvageable, but because cheaters don't usually have no love for their primary partners, they usually have no respect for them, and her trying desperately to fix this and doing the pick me dance will not help that). He needs to realise what he stands to lose. It'll be no good the wife doing all the running around trying to "save the marriage" when he's the ones who's broken his wedding vows. What kind of dynamic does that set up between them, anyway? I agree with @Pinkbonbon - if HE wants to fix what he's broken then HE can do the legwork. Does he not value his wfie at all? Direct your (female) friend to Chumplady.