Leaving husband really need advice please

[Cantthinkofaname78]

Hi, first time poster here so please bear with me!
I've decided at last to leave my husband.iI love him so much but he's given me no choice. Quick background.he had an on/off affair for 3 yrs with the neighbour.who is 15 yrs younger than me.What a cliche. What a man. After a lot of soul searching I decided to forgive him but said if I ever found out he had had anything to do with her again I would leave.I found out they had been in touch and like a mug I gave him one more chance. I'm 99% sure they are in touch again so for the sake of my mental health I know I have to leave this time. I know if he really loved and respected me he wouldn't have gone anywhere near her.

Anyway. We've been together since I was 17. Now I'm 47 and have no idea about the practical side of things. We both work full time and private rent (we have 3 teenage children). There is no way I can afford the rent on my wages alone, let alone the household bills etc. We are also in a lot of debt, so basically we just keep our heads above water as it is. As a single parent of children aged 13, 14 and 18, would I even be entitled to anything to help pay the rent? I intend to carry on working full time regardless, it's my only sanity at the moment I think. How do I even go about finding out? I feel very stupid but I'm clueless, I"ve spent my whole adult life being part of a couple, I have no idea how to be on my own and it's very daunting for me.

My head is a complete mess, I'm having to leave a marriage that I don't want to leave and I'm devastated and heartbroken but know I'm being treated appallingly to have no choice.

Any advice at all about anything that could help me would be so appreciated. I haven't told anyone about this and really need help to get my head straight. Thanks x

Seek help from woman's aid they can help you with all of these things if you tell them x

I wrote you a message but its disappeared! Speak to a solicitor. Go onto a local FB mums group and post anonymously asking for recommendations. You can get free 30 most advice.

Also Surviving Econimic abuse may be able to help with the debt. Call them. Also call rights of women for free legal advice around the debt. You could get UC. Housing benefit.

There is support out there. You need to start planning and researching and calling these charities and free advice services. You don't need to put up with being treated like this. There is a future without him and his lies x

Go to citizens advice bureau they will help you calculate any benefits you may be entitled to op do this before telling him if you can so you have control of the situation

Thank you all for your replies, I'm definitely going to explore them all. .Yes I plan to get my ducks in a row first before I tell him. Before this I considered myself a pretty well balanced, reasonably intelligent woman, but right now I feel like a blubbering mess. All the years we"ve been together (nearly 30) I truly believed he would never cheat on me, we were always best friends and lovers I guess. This has totally floored me. Im just going through the motions every day. And to make things worse my 18 yr old son knows exactly what his dad has done.can you believe when he was 15 he actually said to me 'watch out for her mum she's after my dad'. I'm so sad that their relationship has suffered.

You might be entitled to a top-up from universal credit as a sole parent with 2 under 18 (and the eldest still in 6th form?), depending on your income.

You can put in your details on the "entitled to" website and it'll give you an idea.
And there's a child maintenance calculator on the Gov UK site.

It may be worth talking to your creditors or speaking with a charity like Stepchange about how best to manage your debt - what sort of debts are they, what's in your name, what's in his?