Can anyone recommend a way to get counselling online or on the phone?

[Bbbely]

I have a friend who I am pretty sure is being emotionally abused. She is starting to reach her limit with it all and agreeing she could do with speaking to someone. She is very confused about how she feels. I am trying to support her and I think speaking to a professional would help. But we don’t know where to start with finding a good counsellor/therapist.

It would be a good idea for her to contact Womens Aid and I would encourage her to do this

www.womensaid.org.uk/

She isn’t quite in the place where she agrees she is emotionally abused. I am not sure if I could convince her to speak to women’s aid. She still thinks she is maybe being over sensitive and thinks maybe they need couples counselling. I am a little unsure how to help. I feel if she spoke it through with a counsellor they would help her to see the light.

Joint counselling is never recommended where there is abuse of any type within the relationship.

If she attends counselling she needs to go on her own because she needs to be able to talk in both a calm and safe environment. Her abuser will not allow her to do that.

The following is from WA and would be directly helpful to you re your friend:-

"How you can help

Listen to her, try to understand and take care not to blame her. Tell her that she is not alone and that there are many women like her in the same situation.
Acknowledge that it takes strength to trust someone enough to talk to them about experiencing abuse. Give her time to talk, but don’t push her to go into too much detail if she doesn’t want to.
Acknowledge that she is in a frightening and very difficult situation.
Tell her that no one deserves to be threatened or beaten, despite what her abuser has told her. Nothing she can do or say can justify the abuser’s behaviour.
Support her as a friend. Encourage her to express her feelings, whatever they are. Allow her to make her own decisions.
Don’t tell her to leave the relationship if she is not ready to do this. This is her decision.
Ask if she has suffered physical harm. If so, offer to go with her to a hospital or to see her GP.
Help her to report the assault to the police if she chooses to do so.
Be ready to provide information on organisations that offer help to abused women and their children. Explore the available options with her. Tell her about Women’s Aid and how to access our website".

Get her to call the NHS she can have 4 free 1 hour sessions over the phone. Some areas may have long wait lists but I think I only waited a fortnight

Thank you I didn’t know about the therapies available on the nhs. It’s hard I wish I could tel her to leave him as she seems so miserable but I don’t think that’s the right thing and I see from that guidance that I shouldnt do that. And as with any of these situations it’s not straightforward especially financially

If she’s willing to pay then I suggest going on the BACP counselling directory

She should pay and go private. It will be much faster.

One thing is, don’t get too involved (not that you are) because it takes a long time for emotionally abused people to see the light of day, if they ever do. It is so hard to watch and to get the support right. As you suggest, it’s best done by a professional.

Thank you it is so so hard