TW My dad died

[nonicks]

My dad died.

It’s stupid o’clock in the morning. It’s been 3 weeks since we lost him and another 2.5 weeks until his funeral.

I’m trying so very hard to stay strong for my mum and family but I can’t accept it.

On the outside I look like I’m coping but I’m not. I want him back. The pain is something I’ve never felt before.

How do people cope with this? I’m just lost and I miss him so much.

Sorry

Cannot read and not comment, I send you a big hug.... So sorry for your loss. Give yourself time and space to mourn. Please don't try to be strong for others all the time. I am sure that no one would expect that of you.

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me and your kind words, it means a lot x

Yarboosucks

I'm so sorry. It's devastating. It takes time to come to terms with the loss. As pp says give yourself time to grieve.

I’m so sorry, I’m exactly a year on from the very sudden loss of my dad. It was one of the most difficult and disorienting things I’ve ever experienced. I can’t sleep because of it tonight.
It is a bit easier a year on but he’s still constantly in my thoughts. Wishing you strength for the funeral. Be kind to yourself and do whatever you need to to get through. The initial pain does start to ease eventually xx

Hugs to you. I have lost both my parents and its awful. An empty sick feeling.. Things will eventually get better. Have a good cry. X

I'm so sorry too.

I'm a little further on following the loss of my mum, and the thing I still find about coping is just thinking day to day rather than too far ahead.

There's support on the bereavement board if you need it

Take care

OP, I am also up and awake, with my trusty cup of tea. I am so very very sorry to read about your dad.

I am coming up to the anniversary of losing my beautiful, nephew and he has been on my mind constantly the past week.

I think I wrote this before, but grief is like a tidal wave it just washes over you sometimes, and it's utterly all encompassing. I know that it's natural to feel like this, (part of the healing they tell me, it doesn't feel like healing it feels like the biggest deepest hole that anyone could fall into).

I know one solid thing that helps me get through the worst times. I know in my heart that my nephew and by the same token your dad or anyone else who has lost a loved one they would not want you to be sad all the time.

In the early days I would have this conversation in my head in the worst times and it would help, and then it would end with right stop crying now and go and get a shower/make a drink/go for a walk and get a coffee and sit in the cafe because it makes you live in the moment.

Thinking of you OP it's such a dreadful thing to go through and do utterly lonely. But your not alone it just feels like it is. X

www.ofieldfuneralhome.com/grief-from-the-perspective-of-an-old-man

I used to reread this when I lost my mum

It's such early days be kind to yourself

The loss of someone you love or even someone you just knew is such a strange experience. Something no one can prepare for. I've lost several people as have most people and the feelings are so different each time. You expect to feel one thing as that happened last time and its totally different.
You honestly won't feel like this forever and when it stops your feel guilty for not thinking of your dad 24/7. It never goes away you just learn to adjust to a new norm.
Think if I was to give any advice it would be you don't have to stay strong theirs nothing wrong with crying and being low but you do have to carry on living, you must not feel bad for anything you have no power over.
If things do get worse please reach out and get proper help, theirs no wrong with asking for help.

I am so sorry for your loss, it’s indescribable pain I know.

I sadly loss my lovely MIL (who was like a mum to me) a few weeks ago, it’s been a really sad time and my mood can change hourly. Thinking about her 24/7 and the lack of sleep doesn’t help either. I know she wouldn’t want me to feel like this but it’s really hard.

I know from other bereavements that only time heals. It’s hard when you are trying to be strong for others by bottling up your feelings, sometimes you just need to let it go.

Very early days OP, take care of yourself

Time is a healer - you will never forget your dad but the pain and intensity of grief eases. Everything you feel is normal - it is a case of going through the motions. They call it the 'waves' of grief where emotions just hit you out of the blue and it is so painful.
Don't feel you have to stay strong for others - cry with them - there is no shame in sharing your feelings
I lost my lovely mother 11 years ago and there is not a day that goes by that I do not think of her or miss her. She often appears in my dreams as she was when she was well and that is a comfort.