I'm 29 and have been in a 3 year relationship with someone I truly get on with like a house on fire... 80% of the time. Everyone we meet and know says what a great match we are.
But the other 20% of the time, he's out drinking until 4am at least once a week, a lot of lads trips, yes even this year, and just low level shit... like never admits when he's in the wrong, never takes how I feel into account, has to call the shots on EVERYTHING. His way or the highway, and in the last few months i'm absolutely not his priority. I've voiced it, on the day change is promised and within a matter of 3 or 4 days he's back to his old self.
I'm at the point where I really feel done, have been on rightmove looking at where I'd live, thinking of the timeframe i.e when he's next away with his mates in a couple of weeks. Getting my ducks in a row essentially. Today I told a friend for the first time, and now it feels real. I've got into bed wondering if i'm making a huge mistake, wondering if i'll look back and regret this.
I'm not great at being on my own, never really have been since I was 16. I've always either been in a relationship or living with friends, but this time I'd be living alone, and I don't really enjoy my own company or watching tv on my own etc (is that a problem in itself?).
Can I ask, when you left were you 100% certain there was no coming back? Some moments i'm 100% certain that there is a better life out there, but I've got this niggle I'm walking away from the potential of something amazing, and some times good things require hard work? Or am I just having a natural panic at the thought of being on my own for a while?