Intercourse

[Mumoffourbabys]

Me and my partner haven't had intercourse for over a week, I told him AF arrived today and he said awwww I wanted it tonight baring in mind I've wanted it all week shout I be pissed off.

No? He's allowed to have thought in his head it would have been nice to have sex tonight. It's irrelevant that you've wanted it all week.

Why can't you just have sex if you both want it?

Because he never really wants it with me, when I want it he doesn't and only time he does mainly he wakes me up about 5 in morning for it.

Why would you be pissed off?

@AnneLovesGilbert

Why would you be pissed off?

Because he knows that I've wanted it all week but it's always gotta be when he wants it

Sounds like you both view sex as something for yourselves as individuals and not something for you as a couple. Neither of you need to have sex when you don't want it.

@Sparkai

Sounds like you both view sex as something for yourselves as individuals and not something for you as a couple. Neither of you need to have sex when you don't want it.

Exactly! The whole way this is phrased sounds strange to me. It's like you schedule it in in advance via a conversation? Rather than something that happens naturally when you're both in the mood?

We don't talk about it, it's always when he wants it he wakes me up on a morning when he wants it.

@Mumoffourbabys

We don't talk about it, it's always when he wants it he wakes me up on a morning when he wants it.

Say no talk to him and tell him how you feel.

@Mumoffourbabys

We don't talk about it, it's always when he wants it he wakes me up on a morning when he wants it.

So when you've been in the mood for it for the last week what did you do to instigate it? Just lie there and hope he'd wake you up to have sex with him?

If you're not making a move when you want it, you can't be annoyed at him for not knowing?

He shouldn't wake you up for it, I would hate that, it's OK if you are both awake but waking you up in that way is selfish. You should talk about it, a successful sex life doesn't come about by magic, you need to talk about it just as you talk about other aspects of your relationship.

When I make a move he never wants it.

@Anothernick

He shouldn't wake you up for it, I would hate that, it's OK if you are both awake but waking you up in that way is selfish. You should talk about it, a successful sex life doesn't come about by magic, you need to talk about it just as you talk about other aspects of your relationship.

We have talked about it but he never listens.

If my DP woke me up for sex I’d chop his cock off. Why is it always on his terms? Is this the only part of your relationship where he’s in control or is he generally a bit “my way or the highway” about everything else too?

@Anothernick

He shouldn't wake you up for it, I would hate that, it's OK if you are both awake but waking you up in that way is selfish. You should talk about it, a successful sex life doesn't come about by magic, you need to talk about it just as you talk about other aspects of your relationship.

And I agree with this. Communication is key for all aspects of a successful relationship. If you’ve tried speaking about it before and nothing changes, what are you going to do? You can accept that you never get any say in your own sex life. Or you can accept that you have different sex drives and try to find a different way around it. Or you can leave and find someone who wants sex as much as you done and doesn’t deprive you of sleep to get it on his terms.

@RaisedByPangolins

If my DP woke me up for sex I’d chop his cock off. Why is it always on his terms? Is this the only part of your relationship where he’s in control or is he generally a bit “my way or the highway” about everything else too?

No, we really don't spend much time together, only time we do is when kids are in bed.

Why aren’t you spending time together?

Tell him to fuck off if he wakes you up at an ungodly hour for sex.

@AnneLovesGilbert

Why aren’t you spending time together?

He's on medication and it messes up with his sleep pattern, he's asleep now when I go to bed he will wake up then stay up untill I wake up, he then goes to sleep untill about 2 in afternoon so get no time really.

This sounds like a really unhealthy relationship.

only a week ? not the end of the world surely ? 🥸

It is not ok for him to wake you up to have sex with him

Yeah I get it Op.

It’s always on his terms.

I’ve been there and it’s not nice. It kind of feels like you are being used when he does want it and dismissed and rejected when you do want it.

This applies to any matter outside the bedroom as well the concept is the same. If it’s always on his terms then where does it leave you? Just waiting around for his needs, whilst he ignores yours?

I think you might have worded the post badly for people to get the wrong end of the stick. I don’t have too much advise because I’m sort of going through it myself, yes it’s upsetting and it’s terribly frustrating when you are rejected in this context.

I think that if you have tried communicating with him and he never listens then there is a major issue there as well and it kind of validated your point about him not realising that there are two people in the relationship, not just himself. It’s utterly selfish. Maybe consider how you have approached the issue before now and see if you can get through to him in a different way?

He sounds like a pig.