When you find out your ex has a new girlfriend

[lettgomoveon]

Yes that. The pain has come back all over again. Feel sick, can't eat. I was doing so well 😔 currently not able to concentrate at work. Not sure why I'm posting,perhaps just support and words of encouragement. He was manipulative and abusive yet he seems to have found someone really nice. He said such awful things, the change in personality doesn't make sense. He used me.

Block him on everything
Stop looking at his social media, if that’s where you found out. Most of all, feel sorry for her

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/genius.com/amp/Maya-angelou-poor-girl-annotated

This might help too x

Just remember there're always nice at first otherwise we wouldn't of been with them in the first place, he hasn't had a personality transplant so I'm sure the newness will soon wear off and he'll be the same towards her unfortunately.
See it as a lucky escape and you can be wiser next time.

It sounds like you had a lucky escape. Be kind to yourself, this is normal as you remember why he is your ex. It's unlikely he's actually changed so this 'really nice' person will find out what he's really like. It takes time to process the end of a relationship and this is what you're going through so it's important to accept as much support as you need from your family and friends as well. You can get through this.

It's because he is manipulative that he has found someone else. She won't have a different experience with him but I completely relate to your feelings.

I left Ex after his abusive behaviour and then found out he was seeing a friends wife. Of course initially all I heard, via the children, was how wonderful their lives seemed to be. However I know he can't change...otherwise he would have treated me better.

These people who abuse are not capable of genuine love and affection. She won't be any different, time will prove this.

What was the timeline of your relationship as it's likely theirs will follow similar pattern.

Each time you think of him, switch your thoughts to something you can do for you. Research a new hobby, a new book, an event to look forward to..something to distract yourself

I remember this feeling so well. It’s horrible. Be kind to yourself just now. Plan treats, see friend etc.

This will pass and you’ll end up feeling sorry for her.

Wherever you have got the information that he has a new girlfriend - cut off that source immediately. Whether it be social media, a friend who like to tell you this stuff, you've seen them together somewhere - AVOID. You were doing so well without seeing him or having knowledge of him, remember that. You can get back to that place. The brain and nervous system can only react to stimulus for 90 seconds, after that it's all you dictating your feelings and how you handle any given situation. You can switch this off, I know you don't believe it but you are FULLY in control of this. You KNOW he was no good for you. He is not the one for you. Remove him and them from your consciousness and move along on your journey forwards.

The change in personality makes perfect sense- you attract people with honey, not vinegar. Be assured that he will go back to his nasty self, the second he thinks he has her ensnared.

It's actually possible he is already being nasty to her but they still post happily on social media.
Have you considered warning her anonymously btw? Not that you have to if you feel it would put you at risk of course.

And why are you surprised she is nice? People like nice people. I'm sure you are nice too.

I hear you my ex finds lovely people and I think I was lovely once I wasted a chunk of my life on him and I have two kids by him so I can't cut him out (which sucks) I tried to warn this one I really did especially as she has a sen child (he goes for vulnerable people) she did clares law it must have come back clean because she stayed with him im thinking what was the point of that law? He has a massive amount of arrests but the police won't charge him he is an expert at muddy waters so they drop it every time but surely they should check? He told them once that the only reason his fiance reported him for rape was because we (him and i) were getting back together so they pressured her to drop the allegations! we are NOT getting back together never been on the cards they just took his word for it and it's ridiculous a simple phone call hi he claims your getting back together? No? OK thanks job done

Its pointless I struggle daily with the fallout he saunters on zero consequences his last ex has lost her children he moved on to someone else who has children

People say the cream rises to the top I think they have it wrong

Don't look. Do something nice for yourself. She doesn't know him yet

I know the feeling. I felt very angry at the time, and every now and then I feel angry at the thought of him skipping off into the sunset and I'm left dragging my baggage from the tela and hoping someone might like me one day. That really pisses me off. I sit in the anger for a bit, and then I move along.

Thank you all. I'm definitely not going to contact her but I feel so angry and heartbroken again. He admitted to being in a pattern , he always has to win. So he goes from woman to woman and leaves destruction behind as he labelled them psycho birches. I'll just be another. In fact I'm a nut job, what size tampon do I need? large of course. He managed and controlled me from a distance. We briefly split and he sought out sex online then told me he blocked her. I'm wondering if it's the same woman. She'll never know we slept together again (trauma bonding?) big mistake, so if it is her he has already cheated on her.
It's so available online and I feel disposable. I'm nowhere near ready to move on and having counselling yet he has a new job,new course and new girlfriend within a few months?
his new picture, he seems to have a smirk on his face.
I initially blocked then unblocked so I don't want to react in anyway. Yes I looked. I'll just have to be disciplined not to.
Yes , the poem is helpful

Thanks for the replies. I don't know why I keep breaking down and feel so broken hearted. I've been no contact for months, so not like I have gone back to try to reconcile. I've done projects, been away, began fitness, yet it has really knocked me