I'm posting here as I literally have no one in my life I can go to with this. I don't want to burden my friends and my mother is the most unsupportive person I know... I don't know what to do anymore...
So I've been married for about 7 years and my OH has never been particularly attentive towards me. Never very affectionate or thoughtful. In the early days I did tell him how it made me feel and he said he'd try harder. Fast forward 7 years and it's just got worse year by year. When I had my first child 6 years ago he was so uncaring of me that I thought maybe he didn't love me and that he made do with me or he would end up on his own and not start a family etc. He has never got much to say to me, can be pretty off with me at times. There is no love. No cuddles or kisses. No sex. We haven't had sex since I don't know when. It's way over 18 months. I've got the stage now where I'm quite frank with him and said I can't take the lack of intimacy any more... he will even agree with me that he needs to try harder to be more attentive... but then nothing. We argue all the time. He leaves all the household running to me, I have to manage our finances, make sure our cars are MOTd and taxed. I arrange out summer holiday every year. I arrange all our insurance policies, mortgage etc. I literally have to manage everything. I've told him it's too much and have asked him to help and he says he will... but doesn't. I just feel totally unloved and overwhelmed with everything. I made the mistake of confiding with my mother who I have never had a very close relationship with. She has told me that I need to look at myself as I am a nasty and manipulative person. She told me that if I keep confronting my husband about the issues then I'm just pushing him away. She has told me I'm not thinking of the kids for considering divorce. She is not on my side. I have had to have years of counselling because of how she has treated me since I was a kid so I know I should take what she says with a pinch of salt. But when it's my own mother I start doubting myself and think maybe this is my lot. I just need to put up with a loveless marriage and that it must be down to me that my husband doesn't love me enough to show any affection or want to have sex with me for over 18 months. If I didn't have kids I'd run away. But I can't. I feel desperate and trapped. My husband isn't a bad person but he seems to have checked out on me emotionally some years ago. He says he loves me... how can he?? Help