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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

ex partner turning up to events after a month - I had a panic attack

2 replies

Pipsy1980 · 31/10/2021 20:08

So its been a month since I have spoken/seen my ex and leaving him after he made me feel nervous, ill and hate to say started to suffer from panic attacks. During our relationship, near the end, if I wanted to see my mum, and it may have been random, he started saying if you go to see her, dont come back we are done, to which it was at that point I knew this man had a hold over me and wanted full control of my social/family and any life I wanted outside of him unless he came with me. He wanted to see my phone, I wouldnt let him, he accused me of all sorts of things to which he kept saying, I want to do everything with you, and trust me this meant literally! no friends, he wanted just me.

Cut a long story short I got out and after him begging, pleading, crying, and continously doing this for 2 days and making himself ill, I was gone and was quite ill with it myself from sheer exhaustion. He then turns up at my parents house only for my dad to have a word asking him if he is checking up on me...

Since we have parted, we use to do a lot of running events together, to which its an hour away for him and its my local, he has since been to 2 and turned up to another one today. I had a feeling. Luckily I had a male friend with me, my mum and a few other friends turn up, but when he turned up, I was a wreck, I was shaking, felt sick and pretended he never existed but deep inside I was a wreck, he just kept on staring and smiling and there was no expression from me whatsoever, i couldnt bring myself to react... and after the run he left really quickly like a walk of shame, as we always normally stay there to take photos.... however if my friend wasnt there or mum/friends he would have definitely come up to me. I am starting to dread these events, as I love them and without this sounding terrible, he cant seem to find ones on his own over his area , he is aware I have blocked him on all accounts and he did try to reach out a week later before I blocked him, but just being at this event has actually made me feel really down and low.

My friends are saying let the police know but he hasnt come up to me as such its just the way he makes me feel and all my running team are there and I love those runs, but its not his area and feel he just does this to upset me which it is doing just that and knows I go to these and see the updates on facebook too! luckily he didnt see me react on anything today, I felt strong but shaky! Its just creepy and its making me feel vulnerable again...

OP posts:
Kabakofte · 31/10/2021 20:15

What a shit, there's no need for him to come all that way other than to provoke you. Stay strong, take others with you if you can. If he turns up again can someone not just have a word to encourage him to find an alternative run

Pipsy1980 · 31/10/2021 20:22

@Kabakofte

What a shit, there's no need for him to come all that way other than to provoke you. Stay strong, take others with you if you can. If he turns up again can someone not just have a word to encourage him to find an alternative run
I know there is no need at all, there are plenty where he is and he knows this is my club too, he even admitted when we broke up he would not go to them but clearly he is! If my dad was there he would have had a word with him, shame he wasnt!
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