We’re turning into more but he has doubts

[Eeeeeekkkkk]

So my friend with benefits told me he has feelings for me. He confessed he hated the thought of me being with anyone else even though we were exclusively sleeping with each other. We are really good friends actually and we get on well.

We’ve had a few chats and I don’t really know where I stand now. At first he said our friendship is so important to him he doesn’t want to lose that. Then he said his last relationship put him off because of expectations? Like he likes his own space. We spoke later and I said you told me you do not want a relationship. He said I never said that I just have doubts but I want to work on us.

I feel like he’s stringing me along, but we’ve been friends for such a long time I can’t really see that. Is he just a commitmentphobe

If you've been happy having a fwb relationship with him so far then you've not really got anything to lose by letting him spend some time deciding where he wants it to go. He's admitted that he likes his own space so that doesn't bode well really, does it? Has his declaration made you rethink the relationship as well? Perhaps you could also think about what you'd like to have happen in the future so he doesn't get to call all the shots. Good luck.

He doesn't want a relationship with you.
It has nothing to do with being 'commitment phobe'.

He has basically just told you that now whilst he still does not want a relationship with you, he does not want you to have a relationship with anyone else.

He is not your friend. He cannot stick to the fwb deal. He is fucking with your head.

Unfortunately many men cannot do fwb, they get pissy when you do not fall in love with them (or string you along if you do). Often they will act like they are falling fir you TO get you to fall for them/lower your guard. It is a trap.

However it is important that you never enter fwb with someone you have feelings for. Or stay in one if feelings develop. Because that makes you vulnerable to the sort of men who will exploit this.

Cut him lose. Fully.

*loose.

Trust your gut always. Not 'oh but we are friends'.

He is 100% full of shit and just trying to get you to lower your guard and like him more so he can string you along.

He’s setting it up so that if things go wrong he can say he told you so. Also so that you will put in a lot of effort and gave low expectations of him
I’d find that deeply unattractive and start to distance myself. If a relationship is something that you are looking for, he is not a good bet.

If there’s any confusion from him, he’s full of shit.
He just told you he had feelings for you to keep you from meeting someone more permanent, as the status quo works for him and he wants to keep you where you are.

He’ll never make anything of it, ime

Tbh he does make a massive effort. I told him I don’t want to continue sleeping with him right now. If he was serious then that should be fine. He said okay, brought me a bunch of flowers, took me out on a date and dropped me home. He’s always there for me should I need him, so we probably blurred the lines

What do you want? Do you need your own space, too? When I read on here of posters expecting texts throughout the day or getting upset because their bf wants to go to match with his mates rather than stay at home with them, it makes me realise how suffocated I would feel in a relationship where we were joined at the hip and I have to make excuses to be in a room on my own instead of snuggling up on the sofa.

Your relationship with him seems much more like a couple taking things slowly than fwb. Is that what you want?

The date thing is nice but it’s one date so not really a massive effort (unless he’s done more than that).

It perfectly possible to feel sexually possessive over someone and not want an actual relationship with them, the two are not mutually exclusive - and this sounds like where he is at.

I can't see that he's done anything wrong
're the comment about it's not much effort, its just been 1 date.....of course it has, he's only told her about his feelings recently.
Talk to him op, be open and honest with him and just see what happens.

Yeah, no, OP.

I've been with someone like this. He doesn't want a relationship, he wants to trap you in this FWB scenario because it's convenient for him. He'll say and do all the right things and act like a boyfriend but because he hasn't committed to you, he can ditch you when it suits him without feeling guilty about it 'because we weren't in a relationship'. The mind fuck is intentional. They know what they're doing. It's very, very selfish.

I feel like he’s stringing me along

Well, unless your ideal outcome is to have a relationship with someone who makes you feel that they're stringing you along, this isn't working for you, is it.

It doesn't matter whether anybody has done anything wrong, it's about ow the relationship makes you feel.