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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to tell him to go if he has nowhere to go ?

26 replies

Justploddingon1 · 30/10/2021 22:59

I’ve posted before but how can I tell my husband to leave when he has no family or friends here and our financial situation is bad so we have no money for hotel or second house ?

OP posts:
1MillionDollars · 30/10/2021 23:05

Not you're problem but can you give him c days to sort something.

Can you make him go. Does he own or on the house / tenancy?

1MillionDollars · 30/10/2021 23:05

x days not c

Justploddingon1 · 30/10/2021 23:11

No it’s our rented house so I want to keep this with the kids , but I need him gone.

He just has nothing no money or options .

OP posts:
crestar · 30/10/2021 23:13

Well, obviously without knowing the background it's difficult to say.

If he's murdered someone then you kick him out without any remorse.

If it's simply that you have drifted apart and you no longer want to be in the relationship anymore, then you are being completely unreasonable.

Offmyfence · 30/10/2021 23:16

You can't make him go without good reason .

Had he had an affair

Been violent

Manipulative

If he's done "nothing" wrong, you can't just say he had to go.

It could be you that's had an affair, been violent or manipulative.

Viviennemary · 30/10/2021 23:19

I dont think you can just evict him from a house you jointly rent. You need to wotk something out together. Do you both have jobs. A hotel is no solution to your problem.

1MillionDollars · 30/10/2021 23:25

As above, just because you want him gone doesn't make it so. Ask him but he doesn't have to go so you need to make plans to get out / away from him.

Offmyfence · 30/10/2021 23:29

@1MillionDollars

Not you're problem but can you give him c days to sort something.

Can you make him go. Does he own or on the house / tenancy?

Really?

So OP could be violent, having an affair, cruel to the children but if she decides he must go then tough?

1MillionDollars · 30/10/2021 23:32

@Offmyfence

I didn't say tough but if he ahead equal right to be there. You tell me what she should do???

She hasn't said he's violent,at what point did you get that from her.

Don't attack me, give solutions.

1MillionDollars · 30/10/2021 23:33

Equal right to be there. Unless legitimate reasons to remove him. You tell me the solution.

Why are you attacking me. Another poster said the same.

1MillionDollars · 30/10/2021 23:34

Focus on her problem not me.

Offmyfence · 30/10/2021 23:36

[quote 1MillionDollars]@Offmyfence

I didn't say tough but if he ahead equal right to be there. You tell me what she should do???

She hasn't said he's violent,at what point did you get that from her.

Don't attack me, give solutions.[/quote]
You said it's not her problem... it is! She can't just decide he's going on a joint tenancy.

Your advice was not a solution.

I don't understand most of your post due to what assume are autocorrects.

1MillionDollars · 30/10/2021 23:38

@Offmyfence

Typo apology.

What do you suggest. She wants him to go, he doesn't have to.

Solution

She removes herself

You solution

????

1MillionDollars · 30/10/2021 23:39

Or lies that he has been abusive and violent.

crestar · 30/10/2021 23:41

Without being given much more information - who can say what the solution would be?

The OP might be off her trolley for all we know!

Offmyfence · 30/10/2021 23:42

[quote 1MillionDollars]@Offmyfence

Typo apology.

What do you suggest. She wants him to go, he doesn't have to.

Solution

She removes herself

You solution

????[/quote]
She goes, if he's done nothing wrong and she wants to end the relationship because she has, she leaves.

She doesn't need to remove the children from the family home.

1MillionDollars · 30/10/2021 23:46

@Offmyfence

Your post makes no sense now.

I think we are saying the same thing.


He hasn't done anything wrong (as far as I can see so far)

She wants him gone.

He is on the tenancy.

He does not have to go anywhere.

If she wants out, she has to leave if he won't.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 30/10/2021 23:46

If you are married then he has the right to stay in the marital home, even if its solely your name on the tenancy

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 30/10/2021 23:48

If he leaves he will probably be homeless so I don't expect he's in a hurry to go anywhere. Especially if his name is on the tenancy.
You and the kids would find it easier to be rehomed.
I have no idea what your situation is though.

2catsandhappy · 30/10/2021 23:49

A job hunt. Benefits.
Next April, no fault divorces are a legal route.

It sounds like you are living month to month. Any way to trim the budget? Cancel tv package, cut down phone package, that sort of thing?

Can you sleep in the dc room to give yourself space?
Has he agreed to the separation?

WonderfulYou · 31/10/2021 00:00

Does he know you want to separate?

You need to speak to him and then he needs to get on the housing list ASAP and say he’s been made homeless.
He could apply for a 1 bedroom and then once settled see if he can exchange for more rooms if he has the DC over night.

He should also be able to claim UC whilst he looks for a job. It won’t be a lot but it’s better than nothing right now.

1MillionDollars · 31/10/2021 00:04

@WonderfulYou

Housing list. Single man. No BLOODY chance. If he hand his kids were homeless maybe, but they especially and him are not.

crestar · 31/10/2021 00:05

@WonderfulYou

Does he know you want to separate?

You need to speak to him and then he needs to get on the housing list ASAP and say he’s been made homeless.
He could apply for a 1 bedroom and then once settled see if he can exchange for more rooms if he has the DC over night.

He should also be able to claim UC whilst he looks for a job. It won’t be a lot but it’s better than nothing right now.

But why should he do that if he's done nothing wrong?

Perhaps she should do everything that you have suggested, rather than him.

Offmyfence · 31/10/2021 00:09

@WonderfulYou

Does he know you want to separate?

You need to speak to him and then he needs to get on the housing list ASAP and say he’s been made homeless.
He could apply for a 1 bedroom and then once settled see if he can exchange for more rooms if he has the DC over night.

He should also be able to claim UC whilst he looks for a job. It won’t be a lot but it’s better than nothing right now.

Why?
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