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Relationships

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How do you know when you’re in love?

2 replies

40somethingJBJ · 30/10/2021 17:23

Maybe a strange question from a 40 odd year old divorcée, but I’ve made the mistake in the past of being swept up in the moment and thinking I’m “in love”, but not actually sure I ever really have been. I’ve never had that feeling of being utterly heartbroken when relationships have ended; more of a day or two if feeling sad, then a “oh well, time to move on” attitude.

I had a rather wild time in my teenage years, but never had that intense first love/first boyfriend thing; more of a string of very wrong men! I married pretty young, someone I certainly liked a lot and could see no reason not to marry, but I don’t ever remember being overwhelmed by the feeling of not being able to live without him, if you know what I mean. My son’s dad was definitely a rebound thing after my marriage broke up, and that didn’t last long either. I had an on/off thing with one guy that I would’ve gone to the end of the Earth for, but I also knew it was never going to work, as we were from totally different backgrounds and had very incompatible lifestyles.

After a break of several years from dating, I’m now in a relatively new relationship with someone who just feels so bloody right. He’s more in tune with me than anyone I’ve ever met, and I miss him so much when we’re apart, which is a feeling I’ve never really experienced before. We’re taking it slow and really getting to know each other, but I’m just wondering if there’s a definitive moment when I’ll know I’m in love with him. I’m so wary of making the same mistakes I’ve done in the past and falling into something that’s not right. I think I find it quite hard to trust, and the fear of being hurt often stops me from giving it my all, if that makes sense!

OP posts:
Sillawithans · 30/10/2021 17:26

I think we're all in love until we're not, and when you look back it's hard to think you ever were.

Make sense? 😁

40somethingJBJ · 30/10/2021 17:28

Yeah I guess it does!

OP posts:
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