I've posted before about my relationship with my DH and and not feeling supported by him.
Been emotionally and financially abused throughout our marriage and physically assaulted a couple of times. (on police record). Have a large family with one SEN child. I knew I was done with the relationship a couple of years back but didn't act on it. I still played happy families when he assaulted me but my parents told me to give him a second chance. I couldn't explain to them that just being around him is like walking on eggshells and I often feel worthless. They wouldn't believe me or shrug it off as me being too sensitive. I told them all the physical and verbal stuff but not how it makes me feel. Also they don't really think the emotional stuff is abuse.
it's been a year now since I have separated and removed myself from the bedroom. I did this on my own accord. I have told him in a matter of fact way that I am now separated from him. Having a discussion is not an option with this man because he either is passive aggressive or gaslights. Family do not know. We still play happy families in public. Kids still think we're together. although in some ways they must know that this is not normal.
I'm not sure how long I can go on like this. I have asked for a divorce in the past but he just promises to change. How do you coparent and live separately in the same house? Our finances, living arrangements are all the same. I do the bulk at home while we both pay bills. He has a physically demanding job so I don't expect him to start cooking and cleaning.
Has any body else managed to do this successfully? How do you split bills and chores?
Sorry for the essay.