Out for his birthday treat with DP and met up with a couple of his friends. These friends are part of a middle-aged blokes group who mostly chat online and occasionally meet up for drinking benders where these respectable professionals claim that 'eating is cheating' and below 'Sweet Caroline' at the tops of their voices in quite expensive bars. It's one of the great joys of DP's life and fair play to him.
Said blokes started talking about their next get-together and it turns our everyone else is bringing their partners and they were asking whether I was coming. Clearly DP didn't realise that it was a mixed group originally and hadn't invited me. So far so good - no real issue with this.
However, without saying he didn't want me to come (it was all 'you can come if you like') it has become pretty obvious that he doesn't want me to come. He says I didn't enjoy myself last time (the only time) I came out with them. This is kind of true because although everyone was pleasant to me, they were already pretty pissed by the time we got there and I didn't know anyone out of the big group of shouting drunk men with regular in-jokes so I was a bit shy. Having said that, I don't think I was too much of a wet blanket.
I can see it from his point of view as it would be a different kind of evening for him if I were there and not having a whale of a time. I'm just feeling a bit excluded and sad - I don't like the feeling that he sees me as a bit of a social liability.
Completely torn between not really wanting to go anyway and feeling really aggrieved that DP doesn't want me to go either. Underneath the bellowing and hail-fellow-well-met drunkenness, this group have been good support to each other through lockdown and are important to each other. I feel like I'm excluded from a big part of his life.
Just feeling a bit sorry for myself, I guess. I don't really want to give free rein to all the self-pity but am I being unusually sensitive? Would most people be a bit pissed off/hurty feelings about this?