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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Strange experience

25 replies

poppyzbrite4 · 28/10/2021 14:49

I'm wondering what others would have done here.

I found someone to help with putting together some furniture at my place. He came over on Tuesday this week. Last night I had a strange call from him, he sounded drunk.

He told me that he had a gf but was interested in me and was wondering if the feeling was mutual, he said he had a feeling that I felt the same way. I said no, any behaviour on my part was friendly and I was not attracted to him. I told him that I liked him as he was easy to get on with but had no feelings for him. He then said that he watched a programme and masturbated to one of the characters. I said, 'You've gone way beyond the boundaries of friendship and I'm hanging up now.' I hung up the phone.

What should I have done? I feel really shaken up by it.

OP posts:
IAAP · 28/10/2021 14:50

Put in a complaint to his boss if he has one or the police - just log it and then if you get any more calls they can action

Evenstar · 28/10/2021 14:51

I would block his number and not speak to him again and refuse any social media requests.

Original poster
poppyzbrite4 · 28/10/2021 14:52

@IAAP

Put in a complaint to his boss if he has one or the police - just log it and then if you get any more calls they can action
Hi thanks for answering. He is from a forum called 'Task Rabbit' which are people who do things around the house for you. I doubt he has a boss but I can make a complaint to the forum maybe. Good idea.
OP posts:
Snoopfroggyfrogg · 28/10/2021 14:55

You handled it absolutely fine. If he works for a company or advertised his services in say a local paper or on a website, I would be making a complaint. I'd even consider letting the police know, I'm not sure if they would take any action but ringing female clients to talk about masturbation is quite sick behaviour, I think sexually harassing.

Snoopfroggyfrogg · 28/10/2021 14:55

Cross post but definitely report him to task rabbit. He crossed a line here

Pinkbonbon · 28/10/2021 14:56

A dirty phonecall...eee.

I'd block him on everything and probably get one of those camera doorbells.

In future, read the instructions and put together your own furniture. Don't let a random into your home unless you can't possibly help it.

Even the tradesmen on those compare sites can be dodgy as feck tbh. Always a risk for a single woman unfortunately.

Invest in a 'how to DIY for dunmies' so you can learn to do many things yourself instead.

immersivereader · 28/10/2021 15:00

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poppyzbrite4 · 28/10/2021 15:01

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Shehasadiamondinthesky · 28/10/2021 15:04

How revolting, what a pig. I had a similar experience with a guy I got in to do some tiling.

Original poster
poppyzbrite4 · 28/10/2021 15:07

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

How revolting, what a pig. I had a similar experience with a guy I got in to do some tiling.
I know, I didn't expect the conversation to take that turn at all as he seemed normal when he was doing the work. It was really shocking that he suddenly started talking about masturbation.
OP posts:
Whatinthelord · 28/10/2021 15:08

Ew what a scum bag. That’s horrible for you.

Yes report to the website. I’d possibly even call non emergency police line to report if you know his name. I doubt they’ll do anything specific over one incident but it might highlight if he has prior, is on the register or has other complaints against him.

Pinkbonbon · 28/10/2021 15:13

I find if I have to get someone in (like a plumber ect) then it's best to try avoid any convo with them. Pretend you're really busy with a project on the computer in another room or something and leave them to it.

And if someone is calling you after you know for a fact the work is done and they have no reason to, then don't answer the phone.

And if your gut ever tells you they a dodgy then don't let them back a second time for more work. Even if they insist it's necessary.

Its not your fault though op, there are creeps everywhere.

Pinkbonbon · 28/10/2021 15:17

Tbh I'd be very tempted to find his fb and message his gf tbh. Give her a heads up that he is a creepy, dirty pervert.

But considering he knows where you live...maybe not the best idea xD

Labloverrr · 28/10/2021 15:20

I’d report that to the police and to task rabbit.

He sounds like a predator, the company cannot allow this to happen and for women to be subjected to harassment from someone employed to carry out works at their home.

ravenmum · 28/10/2021 15:21

Scary. Do you know where he lives? His full name? Might be worth speaking to the police to see if he is actually a known offender of some type. And report it as an obscene phone call, which is an offence. www.ofcom.org.uk/phones-telecoms-and-internet/advice-for-consumers/problems/tackling-nuisance-calls-and-messages/abusive-and-threatening-calls

Original poster
poppyzbrite4 · 28/10/2021 15:21

@Pinkbonbon

Tbh I'd be very tempted to find his fb and message his gf tbh. Give her a heads up that he is a creepy, dirty pervert.

But considering he knows where you live...maybe not the best idea xD

I'm not going to report him as he knows where I live and is quite close to me. I'm just going to ignore him. I already told him his behaviour was inappropriate when he has a gf. I think the best thing to do is block and ignore. He was slurring drunk on the phone and it was only about 5pm. I thought he was calling about more work that needs to be done, which is why I picked up. I had no reason to think he was drunk or being sleazy.
OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 28/10/2021 15:23

Hopefully it was just a one off. Make sure his is blocked and if he finds any other ways to contact you or creep you out, don't be slow to report to the police.

ravenmum · 28/10/2021 15:33

I'm not going to report him as he knows where I live
This doesn't make much sense to me, but if you are not going to do so, at least tell someone about him, so that there's a record somewhere of precisely which threatening pervert knew where you lived.

Snoopfroggyfrogg · 28/10/2021 15:46

@Pinkbonbon

I find if I have to get someone in (like a plumber ect) then it's best to try avoid any convo with them. Pretend you're really busy with a project on the computer in another room or something and leave them to it.

And if someone is calling you after you know for a fact the work is done and they have no reason to, then don't answer the phone.

And if your gut ever tells you they a dodgy then don't let them back a second time for more work. Even if they insist it's necessary.

Its not your fault though op, there are creeps everywhere.

See, I respectfully disagree with some of this. Not saying we have to make polite conversation beyond initial pleasantries and whatever needs to be discussed to get the job done. However I think women should feel confident reporting behaviour like this rather than feeling they have to shy away from talking to people or answering the phone in case they're pervs. There are plenty of innocent reasons a workman might call after a job- he might think he'd left something behind.
blacksax · 28/10/2021 15:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

Labloverrr · 29/10/2021 11:44

@blacksax

Agreed!

Naunet · 29/10/2021 12:59

However I think women should feel confident reporting behaviour like this rather than feeling they have to shy away from talking to people or answering the phone in case they're pervs

Well women are not going to feel more confident in reporting, until companies/government/police/juries etc start taking this shit seriously.

gindreams · 29/10/2021 13:15

@immersivereader

You appear to utterly ghastly
That is all

ErickBroch · 29/10/2021 13:18

OP I am so sorry I would be so shaken! Please report to TaskRabbit.

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