Yet Another Dating One

[fishchipsandvinegar]

I had a date last week with someone I met online. We went out for coffee and cake and talked for ages.

We seemed to get on well, my date seemed interested and he knows it was mutual.

He's gone quiet now. He's got loads going on in his life with work and family problems. I am wondering whether to text to see how he is or should I leave it?

I am keeping my options open but it's rare that I click with someone.

No harm dropping him a casual text, but don't get your hopes up too high.

Move on OP . I'm deep in OLD and I am living by the rule "if they are interested , you'll know" as I find it hard to hold my boundaries about mixed messages.
I find talking in real life to my sister and best friend helps as sometimes when you get ghosted , especially if you like them , it feels a bit embarrassing so i find talking openly about it takes the sting out of it for me

Leave it, if he's interested he'll be in touch

How was it left after the date? Did he message? Have you had the opportunity to arrange a second date.

If it’s this hard work early on you are on a hiding to nothing OP.

A week?

If you clicked, he’d have arranged another date

Unpopular on here, I know- but coffee dates allow men to monologue away and cheaply date women for an ego boost

I have to agree for you to move on. There is no point investing another thought on this one. Whatever is happening in his life, if he wanted to go forward he would make time for you, even if he wasn't quite ready, he'd get himself ready if he wanted to.

If you'd clicked, you'd be talking to him, not us.

Happy, healthy relationships don't start with having to consult the internet for advice after date 1.

I'm sorry to say they always say they have 'family problems' and are 'busy with work' when they are not really interested. This allows them to avoid seeing you if they don't feel like it, but also keeps you dangling if nothing better comes along. I've seen it many times, its crap, but if he was properly interested you would be getting more from him than this.

I'm OLD and I NEVER text first after a date. I must have had 30-40 dates by now and the interested ones text straight away (to thank for the date) and then again the morning after. The ones who don't text get deleted straight away.

Nope, he's not interested and I would move on quickly

Thanks for responding and talking some sense into me.

I was feeling a bit fed up today and was missing the texts but won't make contact.

Hey fishchips
I would also leave it. Tbh to me, even the "he has loads on with work and family problems" would be a red flag, as it's often used as an excuse for not having time / showing commitment and still being a "good guy". I went out with someone like this, forever moaning about work / family / health and sure enough soon he 'didn't have time for a relationship' anymore.
Am now seeing someone who is openly enthusiastic, asked about a second date before the first one was over, and texts regularly...
don't settle for anything less.

@SansaClegane - Glad you've now got a good one.