Hi I was just wondering what people's thoughts are on my partner and what seemingly is becoming an unhealthy obsession with a certain topic, and just his personality general.
Just as a side note, I love my DP so so much. He really is a wonderful human being, very loving and extremely attentive. Over the years i have been with him i have wondered whether he falls somewhat on the spectrum maybe, im not too sure what but i am pretty certain it aids for some sort of diagnosis but i just cant out my finger on it.
So he often gets fixated on certain things or topics - he is a very curious person, likes to 'know' things and research. The past few years its been certain fun topics such the universe, particularly the moon, gardening, birds, crystals, insects. Not uncommon interests and we have some with deep discussions often. Harmless things.
However, once he gets in fixation mode its like nothing can pull him away from it. in addition, he has other traits that seem to feed it as well, like poor time management and just general lack of acknowledgement about time altogether. he cannot seem to go from A to B and he gets distracted vey very easily, often with something he will get fixated on.
For example
Planning things are difficult with him. If we are out on a walk, and its a 2 hour route, I very much have to plan for 4-5 hours because he will often see something that interests him and he will stop and obsess over that one thing, will want to spend time with it, take loads of pictures and google it (god knows what his google history is like 😂) and it takes some mad effort for me to pull him from it. Not too much a problem except for we have been late back home many times for things that are important because he doesn't seem to understand a sense of rush. We have not eaten for hours or been miles away from home if its a trip out and it's very frequent we get back after midnight or 2am if we have a 'day' out. He does not like to plan things either which stresses me out a little because we have ended up stuck many times. We stopped to look at a bug once for almost two hours and as interesting as it was, I could not pull him away.
Another example
If he goes to the shop to get one item it's been common for him to be an hour or two because he's too distracted at everything he sees. It ends up him coming out 50 quid down a lot of the time.
Another
His lateness is frustrating. He drops the children off (two different schools) once every fortnight whilst I start work early but no matter how early he gets up he is always almost late. He cannot seem to understand to set off at a certain time even to get the girls to their school on time. I have to often step in and help the girls because he will forget to remind them to get ready as he's too busy doing something else, I literally have to put his dinner in his hands and guide him out of the door. This is after constantly reminding him of what time it is. It is often like he forgets that they need to be in school for 9, but he's forgetting every ten minutes. He is late for work I've noticed at least half of the week, if not more often.
He does have a busy mind most of the time, he interrupts a lot or if I'm telling him a story he will jump in and lead the conversation elsewhere, then on to something else, then something else until it's 20 minutes later and he will say 'I'm sorry what was you saying?' Or he forgets I started telling him something and the conversation just ends. If I try to bring him back he will snap (genuinely) apologise to me for leading me off track. Some times he will forget and do it again.
Anyway back to the fixation. Normally I can put up with it but this one is driving me up the wall. It's over a certain topic that is lingering and we cannot seem to have much conversation about him leading it on to this topic. These things are everywhere at the moment so if we are outside we can't really go ten minutes without seeing one and it leading on to it. I have tried to gently steer the conversation away from it but the force is very strong with this one, there is just no point so I just sit and listen. He's watching documentaries about them, reading books, getting friends involved. However, I am going through some personal family drama involving a certain type of these things which has been upsetting and I'm worried that he will drive himself in to danger zone with it and it's worrying me.
I have even tried to support him and get involved and dedicate a full day to this certain topic to see if it will get it out of his system a bit.
With the fixation and obsession traits, his busy mind and his complete lack of concept of time and plans, can I ask your opinions on what this could be? Please be kind. Its has crossed selfish territory a few times, especially when it comes to the girls if they get bored or hungry and I have called him out on it before. He is not a selfish person (usually) and I have experienced his behaviours now to understand that he does not do it with an intention to cause upset. I honestly feel like he does not 'understand' time sometimes or how long he will stop and go in to his head for. I know there's something very unusual about this, I have wondered whether he has ADHD with the chatty head and the distraction but the fixation thing doesn't quite fit in.