Facing my ex in court and scared

[themagicbegins]

I'll try not to drip feed but my abusive ex has a history of stalking me on here unfortunately. He has a history of physical, emotional, financial and sexual abuse, the works, although nothing stuck.

Abusive ex took me to family court 2 years ago to try and get 50/50 custody, didn't get it but got 60/40. It was a horrific experience. He contacted at the start of this year to state he wanted me to agree to 50/50 and that he was moving house to a desirable area of town, and wanted DC (age 10) to go to the secondary school right next to him. This area of town is about 45 mins from where we live. I offered mediation several times, he refused and took me to court. He claims DC wants what he wants, which I disagree with but DC is too scared of him to say so. He has also claimed I'm mentally unstable (GP report ordered, found nothing of course) and my current partner is abusive (criminal record ordered, found nothing of course). Every trick possible has been pulled to try and get it to go his way.

First court hearing was a couple of weeks ago, feelings and wishes report ordered for DC. Awaiting the report which should be here today. Final court hearing is Friday. Seeing my barrister tomorrow to finalise our approach. I'm broke, and scared. DC is with him this week for half term, so I can't even take comfort in them.

Sat reading through the court papers today and all the lies and spin are breaking me. I'm not hopeful about my chances. I need to get in the right mindset for Friday, but all I want to do is run away. Please can someone hold my hand so I don't feel so alone.

I feel for you op... My exh was similar. I was never believed...
He got 50/50 but in reality I had to beg for every minute
.
At 12 and 14 the dc found their strength. They went nc with him. He didn't argue. Despite the court order.. Never even got a text off him.
I remember your previous threads... Your poor ds. Stay strong. Let ds know you are fighting his corner..

Sorry you're going through this op. If it's any consolation, I'm betting that in a few years your boy will be brave enough to tell him to sod off. Very rare that a teenage boy chooses to spend time with a father who abused his mother.

Then you'll never have to deal with the prick again.

And when you think about it, 10% more time isn't really that much more anyway, if he does get it. Not that he should have him at all tbh. But the stress of the courts ect is probably far worse than the outcome.

All this is just to cause more stress and agro. The best thing you can do is try to choose not to let it bother you. Easier said than done of course.

Im future, make sure you keep the ex blocked on everything but a burner phone. And only reply to messages about who is having your kid and when ect...

We forge many of our own chains with his kind by giving them more power than we should.

Make sure you boy knows he is loved and that he can always talk to you about anything. This will tough time pass.

*this tough time will pass.

Oh BTW, maybe best not to use mumsnet for things this specific if he had form for finding you on it.

Try reddit in future. It's huge, you'll never be found there.

Keep telling the truth. You will not trip yourself up with the truth. A liar will make mistakes. Your child knows where their safety and love is, even if he gets his way. Keep strong.