I have posted a couple of times before , things just keep getting me down so much .
I have been with my husband for 16 year married for 8 . We have 3 children two girls who are autistic and have other diagnosis and a baby . We also have our little dog who the kids adore.
My husband is quick to loose his temper he snaps at the kids when there having a meltdown or calls then naughty . When I tell him it’s the Autisim and not being naughty I’m “sticking up for them “ and I’m “too soft with them “ .
This has gone on for a long time and it’s my fault for not stopping it before , I’ve always kept quiet to not cause arguments as I won’t argue in front of the kids .
Lately I’ve been shouting back and telling him to shut up and leave the kids alone . I can’t take it any more the girls are realising how he is acting and making us feel.
He shouts about the dog and is awful to him , he shouts about the house if it’s untidy . He has left work to help me with the kids and said we get just as much on benefits so there is no point in him working . I hate it I want him out I feel like I’m walking on eggshells all the time .
He never gets up to help with night feeds and we haven’t had sex for a year. There is no affection.
Last night was the nail in the coffin . I had to go to A and E with our oldest daughter she had hit her toe and thought it was broken. We were in hospital for 5 hours she had dislocated ger toe so had to get it pulled back in place .
All I had was text messages saying baby was twisty and we will be in there all night this was before he knew it was dislocated.
Out other daughter had diharea and was texting me to say she didn’t feel well but never left her room or went downstairs to tell her dad.
Then my daughter text me and said she had heard dad shout at the dog and then heard the down whimper and cry . She didn’t want to go downstairs Incase she got told off.
We were driving home from hospital now so I then got a call off my husband shouting down the phone telling me not to pet the dog he was a bad dog because he had opened the door all day for him and he wouldn’t go out now he had weed on the floor and when he shouted at him the dog ran away weeing everywhere.
My oldest daughter heard it all and was worried about her dog.
As some as I got in the house he was hooting about the dog and I said well he’s petrified of you that’s why.
He stormed out of the room and said he wants no dinner and all I do is defend the dog he has had enough of it .
I left him upstairs and the kids dog and me got in the car and went for a takeaway.
I don’t need him in my life I don’t want him in my life but he has no family here no savings no money at all to go anywhere and if he takes the car I’m stuck as I need a car but cannot afford to buy one.
The girls hate change and wouldn’t react well but I can’t let them live like this worrying and getting told off all the time .
There is loads more but I’d be writing for days . Basically everyone that he doesn’t like or gets in a bad mood over is my fault .
I told him it was over last month and he stayed up all night feeling shit and got upset saying he was sorry and we are his world so stupidly I fell for it . It was ok for a couple of weeks but now back to normal.
His family have told me to leave I get on well with the women but there 7 hours drive away from us. They saw it for themselves when we we’re on holiday .
I need some strength and to stop worrying about where he will go or do . I’m at the end of the line now I do it on my own anyway so don’t need him here.
Thanks for reading and sorry it’s so long