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Original poster

Question on dating and communication

9 replies

Catsoutthebag · 26/10/2021 21:34

Recently met a guy, we've dated and seem to hit it off, met through friends however he does not seem to reach out much therefore I don't want to be one to always reach out first. How often would you say is "normal" to hear from a new man?

OP posts:
Original poster
Catsoutthebag · 26/10/2021 21:35

I couldn't find the dating thread, if there is on.

OP posts:
samesign · 26/10/2021 21:46

if he's really keen on you, he'll contact you daily. some people that are more ok with casual dating contact less often.
Best thing to accept what is normal is the amount of contact that you're happy with and find someone that matches your communication style.

Always being the one to reach out, I would quite honestly think he is not that into you.

Original poster
Catsoutthebag · 26/10/2021 21:54

I don't always reach out, that is my point. I don't reach out until he has reached out but wondering how long it usually is there day. Yes at the moment it is casual dating.

OP posts:
samesign · 26/10/2021 22:14

With neither of you wanting to make the first move it's bit of a non starter

PatsyClinSilVousPlait · 26/10/2021 22:37

Speak to him (casually) about it.

If you want more contact, tell him. You'll get your answer one way or another.

I (male) could happily go days without contact if there was a plan in place to meet, but would adjust if the other person wanted more.

TheFoundations · 26/10/2021 22:47

There is no normal. Some people are in touch every 5 minutes, some not for days at a time.

Do you want to be 'normal' or do you want to be 'happy'? Get together with somebody who does things in roughly the same way as you, so that you don't wonder if their behaviour is 'normal' or not.

This isn't about getting things right according to the normality rules: there are no rules. This is about you finding someone to be with who makes you feel consistently happy and who you understand without having to consult the internet.

Sonaftersonafterson · 26/10/2021 23:19

Urgh. Generally if he's not texting you reasonably regularly I'd say hes probably not that interested. I tend to take turns... so if he reaches out first one day, I'll reply and the next day I'll be the one to send the first message. Got to be 50/50 but with men, they tend to chase what they want.

lovingnewme · 26/10/2021 23:29

@Sonaftersonafterson

Urgh. Generally if he's not texting you reasonably regularly I'd say hes probably not that interested. I tend to take turns... so if he reaches out first one day, I'll reply and the next day I'll be the one to send the first message. Got to be 50/50 but with men, they tend to chase what they want.
Yeah, I agree 100% with this post. I'm not a morning person, and find it hard enough to get out of bed, dressed and to work, so I'm often not the first texter of the day - but I've been told off for this so I try and do 50/50 as pp said.
Justcallmebebes · 27/10/2021 08:46

Sorry, but he doesn't sound that into you. It should be easy, comfortable and fluid at first and if it's not, chuck him back, you can do better

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