I don't feel good about this

[BlondieD]

My partner is a good, hard working man and we got on so well when we first met about 4 years ago. We are nearly two years in it this pandemic and I need to get some help on something here.

Basically since the start of the pandemic the health authorities have advised the public to stay at home if you feel unwell. This advice is in order to slow down the spread of the covid infection.

My partner goes to work in a bar and I suppose he is at an increased risk of exposure to the virus. He is vaccinated thank goodness. However I was reading through the coronavirus forum here and I read that covid infections can still happen even after vaccinations. I read that it can appear differently in everyone. Some people have no symptoms, others have colds, others have flus lasting 1 to 3 weeks. I am vaccinated and covid still scares me.

The issue with my partner is that he came down with symptoms of cold - he has sore throat and cough. He is adamant that it's not covid even though he never tested. My issuing is that he spent the whole entire weekend galavanting to and from his work and other social settings instead of isolating himself to protect others. He kept saying it wasn't covid because he said his colleague had the same dose and he tested negative for covid. My issue is that he thought nothing about the idea of possibly spreading whatever sort of dose that is running through him. One function we were at there were different ages from 6 months to 93 years and he was actively coughing all day. He was coughing into his hands and he never stopped to santise them after each cough.

First of all, I think he displayed selfishness by not isolating at home or by not minimising his close contacts.

I am worried now that I might be exposed to covid too. I am vaccinated but I am still worried due to reading about the different experiences about covid. What if I get a bad dose for a few weeks? I remember having flu about 14 years ago. I am not able for a flu.

There are 2 issues here and you are tying them together.

You are very anxious over catching Covid - that is your issue. Your chances of catching it at some point is quite high but the point of vaccinations is to make the illness manageable and keep you out of hospital.

Do you and partner live together? If not, don't see him in order to keep yourself safe (although if you're leaving your house to go to restaurants / pubs / shops etc you're at risk anyway).

The other, much bigger issue, is that he is randomly deciding he doesn't have it and could merrily be infecting people who will be unable to fight it off. To me that is very selfish - the very least he could do is test. If you're in the UK you can get a test sent directly to your house FFS!

As for deciding his symptoms don't match, it may be worth pointing out that the virus mutates, there are different variants and bodies react differently to it - feel free to use my examples as my parents both caught it at the same time. One had flu like symptoms (tired, aching, temp, headache) which the other has what appears to be a bad cold (lots of sneezing, congestion and cough).

He didn’t test, and he should have. He is selfish.
Is this the only concern you have with him, or is the tip of the ice ?

We still have all the normal bugs about, it's not covid or nothing. This is the new normal I'm afraid, covid may never disappear however it is a lot more controlled and treatable and more and more is being found out about it. Just like the influenza virus kills people, we have vaccines and it's a virus that we coexist with.

Perhaps he should have tested, but to be honest, it would make sense it's the same bug his colleague has had, and if they tested, then perhaps they felt there wasn't the need. If this is your only issue with him, then only you can decide if its a deal breaker, but to me, it wouldnt be.

People have struggled within this pandemic and have their own coping mechanisms that have got them through. Perhaps his is to onky worry when there's something to worry about, kinda thing, but I'd suggest having a conversation with him to explain your concerns and see how he takes that or what he suggests

Goodnight grandma,

I think maybe I might be approaching the tip of the iceberg with him. There's some other issues with him too.

Baileys,

My issue is that if his colleague had symptom, how can I fully trust that he actually did indeed test and test negative.

Unfortunately I am coming down with some symptoms now. It's not covid symptoms and it's still only very early days. I just feel a type of phlegm or thickness at the back of my throat. That's it. I'm drink plenty of fluids. I don't have a fever but I do feel it's the start of something for me and I am trying to catch it before it progresses.

My issue is that partner had an active infection of whatever he had covid or no covid, he had symptoms of sore throat and cough and he still thought it was necessary to go out and mix with other people while he had an active infection. He thought it was appropriate to pass on whatever dose he had without confirming if it was covid or not. A week on from the onset of his cough and he still has it.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, I don't know), covid symptoms are now very much the same as common cold symptoms. The only way to know for sure is by taking a test (and even then the rate of false negatives is quite high, even for PCR tests).

There are a lot of colds going round ad the moment. Pretty much everyone I know has had a cold to some degree in the past couple of months (some mild, some severe and lingering).

Anyone who works in a public facing position (or who comes into contact with lots of people), should be testing regularly really. Would expect his employer to be enforcing that as well.

We never used to all isolate and hide away from common colds - it was always just a fact of life, and we just got on with it.

Why can't you have flu? We are all likely to come down with Covid at some point now that the lockdowns have stopped and the rates are getting higher. But because of vaccinations, the risk is lower when we catch it. I even heard one health expert discussing whether it might be a good thing for reasonably healthy vaccinated people to catch it naturally as the equivalent of a booster.

Have you had your flu shots? There's more flu going around, too.

Your bf is irresponsible and selfish - you could do better than that.