How do you know when a relationship has run it’s course?

[Madwife123]

Just that really.

Been in a long term relationship for 15 years. Everything is fine, but just fine.

I can’t help but miss the excitement of the early days or the fun aspects of getting to know each other.

Me and my partner are so different and in some ways totally incompatible which has become a running joke between us.

I can’t help but think maybe there is someone out there who wouldn’t be so incompatible.

And yet it seems silly to end a relationship when there is no real issues, or at least none that seem worth ending the relationship for.

I just wish I could shake this feeling of meh, like I don’t really care what the future holds for us and don’t really believe it when I say we will be together forever.

So anyone been in a similar position? How did you know when it had simply run it’s course?

Looks like you are desperate to leave, so be kind for once and tell him.
Intially he will try and talk you out of it but give him a few weeks as he sets his sights on a new, younger model and he may leave before you so. I've seen it happen, so be careful what you wish for.

I’m not desperate to leave at all. I’m not anything really. Feel like we are just existing and going through the motions. But we have a child so it’s not just me this decision affects hence I’m questioning.

Same sex relationship if that makes any difference.

I think the fact you don’t care about your future together shows your heart isn’t in it.

Same sex makes no difference here.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

Dreaming the key in door every evening was sign for me.
Next day in supermarket i was singing along to Fleetwood Mac "go your in way" and called 2 estate agents that afternoon!

• Dreafing the key in door , I meant

*Dreading

There seem to be a few of these threads on at the moment.
Relationship that is just fine after 15 years is actually in a great shape. So many people hate or resent each other by then.
Missing early relationship excitement is also normal. Especially as we reach middle age and the thought ‘is this it’ enters our minds.
Mid life crisis is called that for a reason. It’s not just men, sports cars and younger models. Women now have claimed our rightful place in this life-phase.

Joking aside - I do think, as I said before on other similar threads - the answer on whether to leave an OK enough relationship is personal. And it depends on what is really going on - which isn’t always apparent.
As it all often comes from a combination of internal factors - dealing with aging; general life satisfaction (career, friends, etc);
External factors - how well the relationship works on a daily basis
And mixed into that some often unrealistic expectations of what an ideal relationship (or ideal partner) should be like over the years.
Adding kids to this equation makes it all even harder.

In your place OP - before you make any decisions - I’d at least make sure that you aren’t just dreaming of greener grass. I’d make sure you aren’t depressed and thinking it’ll solve all your issues. And I’d certainly not do it simply because you think there may be someone more compatible there.

You need to be sure that you’ll be happier on your own than you are in your current relationship. Because you may never meet that ‘someone’.

@MMmomDD

There seem to be a few of these threads on at the moment. Relationship that is just fine after 15 years is actually in a great shape. So many people hate or resent each other by then. Missing early relationship excitement is also normal. Especially as we reach middle age and the thought ‘is this it’ enters our minds. Mid life crisis is called that for a reason. It’s not just men, sports cars and younger models. Women now have claimed our rightful place in this life-phase.

Joking aside - I do think, as I said before on other similar threads - the answer on whether to leave an OK enough relationship is personal. And it depends on what is really going on - which isn’t always apparent.
As it all often comes from a combination of internal factors - dealing with aging; general life satisfaction (career, friends, etc);
External factors - how well the relationship works on a daily basis
And mixed into that some often unrealistic expectations of what an ideal relationship (or ideal partner) should be like over the years.
Adding kids to this equation makes it all even harder.

In your place OP - before you make any decisions - I’d at least make sure that you aren’t just dreaming of greener grass. I’d make sure you aren’t depressed and thinking it’ll solve all your issues. And I’d certainly not do it simply because you think there may be someone more compatible there.

You need to be sure that you’ll be happier on your own than you are in your current relationship. Because you may never meet that ‘someone’.

And this is the problem. I don’t think I would be happier on my own but I do think I would be happier with someone else. I often feel annoyed at myself for sticking it out this long and not walking away years ago when the arguments set in as now I feel like it’s too late.

Good advice from @MMmomDD there.
I imagine that things aren’t really fine as you have these questions/doubts but the situation perhaps isn’t at the stage where you feel trapped or desperate to leave. A good friend of mine often says that you know when you can’t do it any longer. Something will happen between you or something will be said & you will think, I can’t do this any longer.
A few people who have been at a crossroads have found it helps to seek relationship advice. Also the book by James Smith - Not a life coach has been useful to some as they question “is this it” and “where is my life heading.” Lots of people have made some fairly big changes after reading this book (or listen on audible).
If you are on Instagram, these people might be worth a look/follow:
The Love Drive - Shaun Galanos
Relationship Coaching NI - Lisa McFarland
Sineadheg - Sinead Hegarty has a free ebook on relationships
Good luck @Madwife123 I hope things soon improve for you.

There is no such thing as it being too late.
You can always leave.