Saying Goodbye with a twist?

[OkSpiritualknot]

I'm seeing a nice guy, but before this, I was seeing another guy who just saw me as a fuck buddy, I guess. He promised lots, but it was all rubbish. I stopped seeing him, as he stood me up, though still struggle to get him out of my head.

The other night, very late he messaged, he had to see me now... Blah blah... I called his bluff and said OK. Five minutes later... Disaster he has a puncture, he can't come... Yeah yeah..

OK, so I'm now going to block him. Before I do though, I need advice. I'm a woman alone in a foreign country (Europe). I need to know who I date for safety. I checked the man out, car number plate stuff, I'm not stalkerish or am I?

Turns out, the name he gave me is his name.... But is not the name he goes by business wise. Turns out he's a public figure, well known in a particular industry, highly respected.

I have a choice.... Block him.... Or message "goodbye (real first name)" and then block him.
Reasons are to kind of shock him and let him know I not a fool, but he'll just see it as me being a stalker won't he?

Oh yes, do the real name.

So you doing our his business name and that’s your big “ta-DAAA”?

I don’t get what you are going to get out of doing this??

Just block him. No need for drama. Sending him his real name shows you care. There is dignity in silence

Kim deals..... I think I just want to piss him off

Or... For example, it's like I know him as "Josephio" , but he's known as "Ep". So I could message "Goodbye JosEPhio".... Maybe too subtle.

I was always upfront about really liking him, he knows he's hurt me. If I show I know his real identity, he'll be out of my life forever.... Which is what I need.

Don't stroke his ego; also by saying that if you call him by his real name you'll ensure that he'll never contact him again you really handing your power to cut the contact over to him. Just block him now; nothing hurts knobs like that more than calm indifference.

I'd definitely do it. End the message with a laughing face.

Thank you "calm indifference".... I like it 🥱

Don’t even dignify him with a goodbye. Just
Block him and cut it off dead. Nothing will bruise his ego more than being ignored!

Our of interest, what would you have done if he’d actually shown up? I’m assuming that you and the ‘really nice guy’ you’re currently seeing are in a monogamous relationship?

Yeah, I’m team ‘block and draw a line under it’. The situation is a bit messy.

Just block him. Knowing his business name shows you've been googling him. Which if you're ending things isn't a good look.

God, yes use his real name! Say something about you think you have a mutual friend.... I wouldn't block straight away after, either. I'd HAVE to see the response!

So, he messaged you out of the blue late at night - booty call! And you 'called his bluff'? Who are you kidding, he was just ego stroking and seeing if you'd still be available, and you confirmed that you were still happy to be at his beck and call - go you, that really showed him.
That's all he was testing, he wasn't really interested. Now you want to follow it up with sending a 'goodbye'message with his business name. Great, so you want to further prove to him that you have given him a lot of your headspace, taken time to research him. Newsflash, he doesn't care what you think, and you just keep reinforcing the message that you are a woman who will take any scraps he has to offer, because you don't respect yourself - until you do, you are at risk of men not respecting you either.

Yes.He was just checking to see if you were still available.
I would message with ‘How’s the car realname?’ and block.

OP - I am not sure what you think it would do to him if you use his real name. If he were married - then it’d scare him off.
But otherwise it’ll just reinforce you being way more into him than he into you.
There is no more to the story than you liking someone more than they like you back.

I am guessing you are English, while he is Latin (just going by the name example). So maybe he indeed promised you something early on. Or maybe it’s just different cultures misunderstandings. He may have used flirty language that you took to mean more than it does in his culture.

Write it off as an experience and move on.

No, leave it! All you're saying here is that he uses a short version of his name at work, and the full version privately, not that it's some alternate identity. Keep your dignity and block him.

The bit about calling his bluff is odd, if you didn't want to be treated as late night booty call, why agree to this, regardless of whether you thought he'd actually come round or not? Once you realise someone doesn't have the same goals as you, just sack them off.

You're seeing a nice guy so concentrate on him, the fb I wouldn't message again and just ignore any future messages.

To clarify, the first guy messaged me the night before I was going to meet the nice guy. I had finished nice guy 3 weeks ago for the other man as he promised so much.

So I didn't see either man for 3 weeks, first guy was always sooo busy 🙄, nice guy respected my decision. Then nice guy gently asks if we can meet up again, I say yes. I've given up on the other guy... His offer to visit me was his last chance to redeem himself. So, it was a booty call, but I knew he had no intention of going through with it.

I am back with Mr nice guy now. We spent the weekend together.
So should I block the other as a humdrum bloke or as a wealthy, highly respected public figure.? Or does it really matter, I know he's a dick either way.

I wouldn’t give anyone the satisfaction of knowing I was interested enough in them to Google them.

There’s something a bit pathetic about a woman in a relationship being so hung-up on an ex-FWB that she’s putting this amount of thought into him, to be honest.

Have some self-respect, block him, delete him from your contacts, and get on with your life.

I'm a woman alone in a foreign country (Europe). I need to know who I date for safety
Then I'd say don't deliberately do something to piss off a powerful man you don't know well but who presumably knows where you live.

Plus it just sound like he told you the name he uses with his friends.

@OkSpiritualknot

Thank you "calm indifference".... I like it 🥱

Great description

Fuck him... I'm just going to block him right now with no comment or goodbye... Double fuck him..

Just blocked on everything and deleted contact. Thank you everyone xx

Well done - stay safe and hope you have fun with the other guy :)

Hell no. Glad u didnt. Would just stroke his ego than u was interested enough to check things out.. not cool