He won't tell me what's wrong.

[thecatsarecrazy]

Bloke I chat with, can't say it's a relationship but been chatting for ages. He didn't text all afternoon on Saturday, no goodnight text. He messaged early Sunday said he's normal good morning message. I asked if everything ok? He said I have some stuff going on and my head feels like a washing machine. I asked if he wanted to share. Understand if not. He just said I'm sure life will carry on babe.
Today I asked how things are. He said still shyte, what's wrong? Nothing for you to worry about. Obviously I won't ask again but is this something men do when they're blowing you off?
I'm going through a shit time too, it's probably best if we leave each other to it but was just wondering if this could be the first steps to him distancing himself from me.

Step back a bit. You've got literally no real evidence of what is going on.

All you can do is wait and see what he does next. If that's doing your head in, draw a line and move on.

@ScaredOfDinosaurs

Step back a bit. You've got literally no real evidence of what is going on.

All you can do is wait and see what he does next. If that's doing your head in, draw a line and move on.

It just feels off, when he would normally tell me everything, I've head about jobs, money problems, his grandad being unwell and then passing away... To now I've got something going on but won't say what. Seems a bit suss. Ill just leave him alone. I've got plenty of problems of my own he just used to be a nice distraction but now my gut feeling is something isn't right.

I wouldn't bother text again. I can't do with silly head games. Either tell me what's wrong or fuck off is my feeling. Don't drop cryptic clues.

I'd drop this one. Particularly if you are having problems of your own. Not worth wasting the time over.

Is this just an online chatting relationship? Have you met him in real life? It at least planning to?

Generally - men dont necessarily like sharing problems that much. And especially not with someone they don’t know that well.
It doesn’t mean mean he is distancing himself. Just means he is dealing with something he doesn’t want to talk about.

It might be something big and personal. It could be absolutely anything. He could have found out he's adopted or has a child he didn't know about or going through a disciplinary at work, or he could just be feeling a bit down and trying to muddle through.

You'll drive yourself mad if you try to guess.

Give him time.

Yeah we have met up but it's been a while tbh. He just confuses me so much. He phoned on Friday and we had a lovely chat, and a laugh was talking to him about my dad and he said I know babe it's awful, went through it with my grandad. Then Saturday he was pretty distant with me. He did meantion that his mum wanted to see him about something but she said it was good news. We have normally shared everything. I said it's fine your obviously going through something that's none of my business. I won't press you but I'm here if you want me. Words to that effect. He will probably take that as me having a go.

@thecatsarecrazy it's probably that whatever his mom thinks is good news he's not so convinced of.

She might have met someone knew or be moving away etc.

Do you prefer having a virtual relationship to a real life one?
Because if you hope this is going to become a normal relationship - it’s unlikely.
It’s sounds more like he is happy for you to be a virtual person he speaks to sometimes.
Men don’t do virtual relationships for no reason. And I wonder what his reasons are.

@MMmomDD

Do you prefer having a virtual relationship to a real life one? Because if you hope this is going to become a normal relationship - it’s unlikely. It’s sounds more like he is happy for you to be a virtual person he speaks to sometimes. Men don’t do virtual relationships for no reason. And I wonder what his reasons are.

Yes I think you're right, I don't really know the guy at the end of the day. We haven't spent enough time in each others company. He can be very argumentive at times, takes things I say the wrong way. I think I just enjoyed waking up to a good morning babe message every day when in reality he could be sending out 20. I read stories on here and people say get rid and my heart sinks cos the bloke normally sounds like him.

[quote girlmom21]@thecatsarecrazy it's probably that whatever his mom thinks is good news he's not so convinced of.

She might have met someone knew or be moving away etc. [/quote]
Yep could be anything. His mum arranged for his son to visit a couple of months ago. You would think that would be a good thing but he wasn't happy. Said he wanted me time.

He just confuses me so much

Do you want a relationship with somebody who confuses you? If yes, why? If not, move on.

It’s not a relationship.

@DampSquidGames

It’s not a relationship.

I said that in the op

I'd just back off and stop texting him.

For a tentative friendship he shouldn't be projecting personal issues on to you. Otherwise it sounds quite dull.

Old normalised all sorts of weird behaviour from men for me over a few years. Because I had small children at the time I fell into virtual buddy relationships really easily and they were a waste of my time!

“His mum arranged for his son to visit a couple of months ago. You would think that would be a good thing but he wasn't happy. Said he wanted me time.”

Why would you want a relationship with a man who doesn’t want to see his son anyway? Indeed, a man who has so little relationship with his son that his mum has to arrange visits?

He doesn’t sound worth continuing with at all.

Umm he sounds like a dick. That comment about his son is literally him telling you 'hey, I'm a selfish prick'.

Why would you continue anything with someone that cold?

Also, his mum had to arrange it? Ugh. Manchild.

You're getting too caught up in an online chat thing esp when you can't even go half a day . Get out with some real life friends .

“Umm he sounds like a dick. That comment about his son is literally him telling you 'hey, I'm a selfish prick'.”

Yes, this - and put much better than I put it.

@Dery

“Umm he sounds like a dick. That comment about his son is literally him telling you 'hey, I'm a selfish prick'.”

Yes, this - and put much better than I put it.

Exactly this.

Come on, you’re getting nothing from this and he told you he is a selfish father.

He just confuses me so much If you're in a good relationship, you wont feel confused.

Just move on.