Divorce questions

[EveT83]

Bit of background: friend has been separated for 18 months. His Ex lives with 2 autistic daughters in jointly owned outright house.

Questions:

in the heat of an argument his ex said he wouldn’t see the girls again until “she’d seen him in court” given neither even has a solicitor yet this is likely to be some time away, can she do this? Is there anything he can do to speed this up if she can?

they had originally agreed that she could live in their house with the kids till they were older but he is struggling on his single income and paying rent while she lives in their nice house with few outgoings. Can he ask her to sell the house now? What can be done if she says no?

he is moving for work/ relationship in the next few months about an hour away. The ex is not happy about this as it will likely mean their elder daughter (almost 18) won’t go to stay with her dad anymore. He has arranged to meet his daughter for lunch or whatever suits her regularly and both seem ok with this.

However the younger daughter is struggling with (he thinks) mental health and doesn’t like to leave her room some days. He is worried she won’t visit as the travel and leaving her room would be too much for her. He has proposed that he can see her at her home while they get her assessed and some help or support in place. The ex is upset about this though as it would mean she loses her freedom as he usually has his girls thurs, fri and sat nights and half the holidays.

Can the ex force the girl to visit her dad overnight? Can he visit his daughter at their joint owned house if the ex doesn’t like the idea? Would court take mental health/autism of his daughter into account?

many thanks in advance for any advice

He can speak to a solicitor regarding the sale of the home. He can also request a court order for contact but it sounds as though the children are older and their opinions will be taken in to account.

He is choosing to move away from his children. He needs to deal with the repercussions of this. If that means that his ill daughter can't travel to see him then he has to accept this and arrange to meet her. His ex wife deserves some peace and privacy in her own home. It isn't really surprising that she is angry at his decision to move further away, reducing the amount of support he is able to provide his children with disabilities. Of course she would resent having her "freedom” curtailed. Who wouldn't?

She is not responsible for forcing her children to maintain contact. Neither does she have the power to do this. As mentioned previously, he could go to court for contact but the children will likely be asked what they think of the arrangements. If their autism/mental health is diagnosed and deemed to hinder their capacity to be involved in decision making they may not have to. The court may also decide that it is in an unwell child's best interest to stay in their family home.

Your friend really needs to think about how best to manage this without causing any harm to what sounds like an already very vulnerable child.

The thing is his daughter struggles to visit him 10 mins down the road at the moment so moving while making things slightly more difficult won’t change things as in she still needs to get in the car/on the bus to visit him.

While he feels enormous guilt for moving away, he does also deserve to be happy and this job would be good for him.

Yes she’s entitled to peace in her home and support from the co-parent however he could have refused to move out in the first place but chose not to, he also would like to keep contact with his daughter and thought he was doing the right thing by offering to see her at her home rather than adding to the stress by making her visit him.

Thank you for your input. Food for thought. He does want to get this right for everyone involved.

He needs legal advice asap. No one here can help or answer questions categorically, solicitors can.

Emergency orders can be granted in days, he needs a child arrangement order.

How old is the younger child?
Solicitor advice is the best bet, but even a solicitor can't foresee the outcome of court involvement. A court is less likely to be able to enforce any kind of order on an older teenager. And probably less inclined to for an ill child.

Was 13 in august