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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ducks in a row...

6 replies

UnsolicitedDickPic · 24/10/2021 16:45

I've finally kicked my partner into touch after a decade of being treated like a fucking idiot. No infidelity (of which I'm aware, at least!) but a whole truckload of emotional abuse/alcohol abuse/debt/inability to hold down a job/general twattery.

I'm not going to go into much detail about the circumstances which led to me ending it (as it's quite outing? but it was probably, on the scale of his previous bullshit, an absolute minor event. But I've drawn my line in the sand. DD is still quite young but I don't want her thinking this is how a relationship should be.

So, now what? I've contacted the landlord about changing the tenancy into my name; I'm going to ring Universal Credit tomorrow and start a claim. I've managed to secure a loan from a family member in the interim in case I'm short on funds.

But what, if anything, am I missing? Is there a checklist somewhere for getting my ducks in a row? Also, any advice on actually getting him to leave the property without him trying to kick the door in would be most appreciated!

OP posts:
BluebellsGreenbells · 24/10/2021 16:49

Look at free school meals, council tax, car insurance, house contents insurance.

unicornsarereal72 · 24/10/2021 17:08

Go through all your direct debits and make sure you aren't paying anything that is his. Mobile phone bill car tax/insurance
Single person discount on council tax.
Car insurance anything in both your names.
Bank accounts take your name off anything that might go over drawn
Benefit check
CMS Information.

Starlightstarbright1 · 24/10/2021 17:18

Get his national insurance no. If you can . Helps with cms.

Ensure you have dc's paperwork birt certificate etc and yours squirrelled away.

If you get him out change the locks.

Check Dd.

You can also contact credit companies to cease connection with ex and his debts

Transfer all bills for house into your name.

UnsolicitedDickPic · 24/10/2021 18:26

@BluebellsGreenbells

Look at free school meals, council tax, car insurance, house contents insurance.
House insurance is a good shout, thank you!
OP posts:
UnsolicitedDickPic · 24/10/2021 18:26

@unicornsarereal72

Go through all your direct debits and make sure you aren't paying anything that is his. Mobile phone bill car tax/insurance Single person discount on council tax. Car insurance anything in both your names. Bank accounts take your name off anything that might go over drawn Benefit check CMS Information.
That's a good shout, thankfully we've just moved house so I'd already cancelled a bunch of direct debits but will have to check there's nothing lurking.
OP posts:
UnsolicitedDickPic · 24/10/2021 18:27

@Starlightstarbright1 The bastard already threw out her original birth certificate not long after she was born. Devastated was not the word.

OP posts:
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