Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Elderly parents

6 replies

DonaPatrizia · 24/10/2021 16:25

My mum is 85 and stepdad is 86. Both are in good health physically and mentally though he has a few issues. I live 300 miles away, my husband has cancer and I also have a demanding job. Post Covid I’ve resumed regular visits, during lockdown we were in daily touch by phone and Zoom. I have a brother who is no contact, a male cousin who is very supportive and more like another brother/son but lives 150 miles away and step sister and brother who are supportive and live locally. Mum and stepdad were both widowed and are happily married for 21 years. Mum is now very depressed. It’s a mixture of Covid isolation and Dad getting clingy, not wanting to do things. I feel they would be happier if they did more, even just going for a walk and also if they interacted with their friends but they won’t, they just sit at home, him fairly happily, her miserably. They know they’re lucky to have one another and their health and I’m heartbroken my mum seems unable to enjoy this time at all. I think basically she’s terrified of the future. If anyone has any ideas of how I can help her I’d be very grateful. Me moving closer is not a realistic option and they don’t want to move near to us, and we can’t afford it anyway. Thank you

OP posts:
ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 24/10/2021 16:29

I don't think there IS a cure for depression. Can she see her GP with a view to getting medication to help numb the feeling?

Notjustabrunette · 24/10/2021 19:26

Could she join a local group for older people? For example in the town where I live a group of older people meet weekly in the local park for a walk and coffee afterwards. That way at least she’s getting out and doing something.

DonaPatrizia · 24/10/2021 19:45

She’s going to the GP next week. I’ll look online to see if there’s a group of older people who meet or any other help. Both excellent suggestions, thank you.

OP posts:
Elieza · 24/10/2021 20:02

Can they work IT? If they could video chat with friends it may be a start? Then they could perhaps meet outside on dry days.

It is a scary time and I get why they are staying home. But outside socially distanced meets shouldn’t be too bad. Especially if it’s a local canal bank walk with an oldies walking group. Or volunteering for an outside litter pick or something.

They could even do something like dog walking for a housebound neighbour or something? I’m thinking outdoors is safer. Providing the weather is ok.

Nanny0gg · 24/10/2021 20:17

@DonaPatrizia

She’s going to the GP next week. I’ll look online to see if there’s a group of older people who meet or any other help. Both excellent suggestions, thank you.
WI, U3A, Book clubs, local walking groups?

Would she join one of those?

DonaPatrizia · 24/10/2021 20:43

Mum can work IT, she set up an iPad I bought her by herself and Zooms on it, which is brilliant. Dad not so much. They Zoom with me and my cousin but their friends seem not to be up with IT. I’ve been encouraging them to go back to church.U3A is a great idea as is a book club. I think mum needs to break the barrier of making the first move to do something.
Thank you.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page