Pregnant and want to leave abusive cheating partner

[berriesandcream1]

Hey everyone

I recently found out I'm pregnant, I'm only about 5/6 weeks so it's very early days, but I'm really worried as had to have a TFMR earlier in the year at 13 weeks.

Since becoming pregnant this time, I very recently found out that my partner was cheating on me the whole time I was pregnant last time with his ex (they have a 5yo daughter together). She sent me screenshots of messages and photos and it's made me feel sick. He slept with her the day after I had my scan showing the problems with the baby. She also informed me that he used to physically abuse her. He's never laid a hand on me but is emotionally abusive and will give me the silent treatment for days on end which is horrible.

He's always been quite controlling but it's got really bad in the last few months. He sold his work van so now uses my car for work and I'm stuck at home all day and can never do anything. I work from home so it isn't a problem in that respect, but it stops me having a social life. Especially now I'm pregnant and worrying after last time, I don't want to be stuck at home alone all of the time.

If I tell him I need the car for the day he makes me drop him to work and pick him up which leaves me exhausted, as well as not being able to do much because I have to be constantly checking the time in case I have to leave to collect him.

It's really getting me down and if I weren't pregnant I would have probably left by now. Im scared of being pregnant and alone but that's how I feel anyway at the moment.

I don't know what to do and suppose I don't even really know what I'm asking in this post but if anybody has been through anything similar and left their partner while pregnant I'd be really grateful. Termination isn't an option for me as it completely broke me last time having to make that decision. I know it isn't ideal bringing a child into this but I do have a good job and can manage on my own.

Nobody else knows I'm pregnant yet as I'm scared to tell anyone until I know everything's ok after last time, so it's horrible and I feel so scared and lonelier than ever.

Thanks in advance, xx

Hi, I’m so sorry you are going through this. But if I were you I’d cut and run! The ex will be in his life forever, there’s no denying that, if she’s happily letting him slip back into her bad without any guilt then it’s only going to carry on!

To be quite blunt, you need to decide if you walk away from him can you peacefully co-parent with him. will you be dragged through more hell and be stuck in a loop of letting him into you he’d as well as and when he wants. This isn’t healthy for you or your pregnancy.

Good luck, please make the right choice for you and your baby!!

Also, don’t be scared, many, many men and women have parented alone and have been fine.

Definitely leave him.
Don't put him on the birth certificate and don't give the baby his last name.
It does Not affect any child maintenance claim.

Why did he sell his van btw?

Get rid of the loser. You will be much happier without him

The only thing harder than being a single parent toe being with the parent and them not pulling their weight, letting you down, letting your child down and being unreliable.

I stayed for 12 months as I was scared about being a single parent. It was easier once I left.

You can manage your life better without the uncertainty of an unreliable partner.

It may be hard at times but not as hard as staying in my experience.

What's the housing situation?