Hi, I’m a long time lurker of mumsnet but never posted before. I would love some advice on my situation, please be honest but not brutal.
I am recently divorced (2 years ago) and decided to dip my toe in the dating area. I met a lovely guy (also divorced) who has two kids. We have been dating for 6 months and I have recently met his kids. I get on well with the kids and things were going good.
The only problem I his ex wife. She is still very involved in his life, texting him every day with seemingly random questions and unnecessary phone calls etc. I find it hard and have tried to discuss it with him but he always says it’s stuff about the kids and is necessary.
Last night, we were about to go to bed after putting my LG down (3 year old). We usually would watch TV and snuggle, I know we sound like exciting people (LOL!). Anyway, he goes downstairs to get something and was gone a while. Then I can hear him talking very quietly to someone.
I came down the stairs to hear him saying “right OK, right OK” and then bye. I asked who he was on the phone to and he said his ex name. I was shocked. He had been talking in a hushed voice clearly trying to hide the fact he was on the phone. I asked him why he had called her and he said he had a missed call and had called her back.
I said to him surely he could have just text to ask if all was OK, after all it was only one missed call and if it was something urgent surely she would have called more times and or text saying call me urgently?
He instantly got angry and said I was being unreasonable. Then said what was wrong with calling his children back, to which I pointed out it was his ex wife he was calling not his kids (both of whom have their own phones!).
Anyway, I said I didn’t want to argue so went up to bed. He came up but then sat on the bed not getting in. I asked him if he was getting in and he said I was out of order for questioning him and he was p**sed off with me?! 🤷♀️
I repeated that I don’t want to argue and it’s our weekend together (he has his kids alternate weekends) so just leave it.
He said he was too annoyed so was going home. He then got dressed and left with me asking him not to and saying he was ruining our weekend time together. He left anyway.
I spoke to a friend after he left and also reflected myself and it now seems he was deliberately keeping the argument going so he could leave and I’m now questioning if it was something to do with the call from the ex.
I feel really left down and like I mean nothing due to the fact he could just walk out and leave me.
What I really want to know is was I unreasonable to expect him to text the ex rather than make a secret hushed phone call? Also, is it likely he could be up to something or am I overthinking?
Sorry for the long post and thank you if you’ve read this far.