This is a really long story so apologies beforehand! Basically I have no idea whether I’m overreacting or whether he’s been really disrespectful.
Our “relationship” started 6 months ago. We both do the same university course as mature students. In our course there’s a lot of practical elements and placements which means we also kind of work together. We see each other a lot of the time. He is 5 years younger than me.
Anyway, I have had niggling feelings that he’s not being truthful or honest with me about anything. So basically after we slept together a few times, I made it very clear that if he wanted to sleep with other people, I’d appreciate if he ended our situation. I said I don’t sleep with multiple partners at a time because of health reasons. Personal decision. He said he wouldn’t do that.
I can think of 4 times I’ve basically ended the relationship and he’s found a way to convince me im overreacting.
First time was a day before we went on holiday together. He made a “joke” about sleeping with someone else. I decided not to go on holiday with him, and told him he’s either immature for making the joke or there’s truth to it. He apologised profusely saying it was a joke and he wouldn’t do it again. I was more cautious after that, but my friends convinced me to give it another go.
The second time I found a used condom in his bathroom bin. This was maybe 2 months after the comment he made. I asked what it was, and he said he used it for a “posh wank”. Doesn’t really make any sense to me... however my male friends said they sometimes do this. I just asked the guy to be honest and tell me if he’d slept with someone else. He was adamant he hadn’t. I asked if I needed an STI check. He said no, definitely not.
The third time he was showing me something on his phone and something popped up with a female name. Something didn’t feel right and I panicked a bit... I didn’t get dramatic or even look at his phone. I just ended it saying we want different things. He was really offended saying stuff like she was just a friend, just speaking to each other etc
And then I didn’t speak to him for 3 weeks. He kept trying to talk to me at uni, and eventually messaged me saying that he missed me. Well a course mate told me that just 4 days before this he’d been on Tinder.
I replied just reiterating that I was done. He saw me in person and we ended up having an argument where he broke down saying he fucked things up and it wasn’t worth it, that he really liked me, had fallen for me etc, but he thought I was going to get back with my ex so tried to make it less serious. He then said he really wanted to be with me and that he wanted to make things right. He said he’s sabotaged it.
I asked him outright “did you cheat on me?” He said no. I asked if he’d spoke to other people, he said yeah. I said how does that add up if he likes someone, he said he was just trying to sabotage us. He basically then begged for another chance and said he’d deleted tinder, won’t speak to anyone else. Stupidly I don’t even know why, I said yes.
So then he made a big effort being all expressive and affectionate with me, saying I was beautiful & texting me and calling me all the time. Then when I saw him in person he did a meal for my birthday that he’d missed when we broke up and got me an expensive present. Then the next morning back to low effort, barely speaking. Not being affectionate.
Social media is rammed full of girls I suspect he doesn’t really know, I had to ask 4 times to be added, wish I hadn’t because seeing all that just confirmed what I already knew to be honest. His low effort communication is back, not replying for hours and when he does usually just a few words.
I’ve been an idiot haven’t i? What do I do.. ghost and block? Or am I just reading too much into it. I’m so insecure he makes me think it’s me