A RANT MUCH NEEDED!

[PEONY1318]

I just need a rant about this which my other half does not seem phased by at all! Maybe I am being too sensitive!!??

Before I met my other half I was friends with his sister first.. which was great at first... we both got pregnant at about the same time and now both have little boys just four months apart.. I am now expecting in two weeks with no.2... I have always been on about routine routine routine after reading the baby whisperer, and it's worked superbly for us with no.1 whereas my SIL is the total opposite in parenting style to me and whose son never slept properly since born.... Throughout this pregnancy both SIL and BIL have said the most cruel comment ever... that they wished that my no.2 will be much worse than their LO!!!! in terms of sleep, etc etc... I just cannot understand how people can be so evil!!! They keep thinking we were lucky having a baby who slept through from 3 months.. they don't realise that half the time you as the parent have to put in the work... when they first said that to me I was in absolute shock because it made me self doubt myself.. maybe I was just lucky first time round and that this time I may give birth to a hellraiser (!) but after them saying it numerous times I am determined to show them that it can be done again!!! My friend who has recently had no. 2 also self doubted herself (she too had put her LO into a good routine from 3 months) and when she heard what my SIL said she was infuriated...as her no.2 has been a more difficult baby to settle... (when SIL found out you should have seen her gloating face!) but now 4 months on she too has him in a good routine and has been sleeping through since 3months old ( personally cannot wait till my friend tells her this)

anyways... it has been annoying me so much... and I am sure that once no. 2 arrives they will have much to say...

DS didn't sleep through until about 6 months, and i think that was maybe because i started work then and possibly slept through the wailing in the other room til he gave in dunno if that's true for sure, but the timing adds up.

i was paranoid about routine for DS as was losing my mind with lack of sleep, believe me, no effort was spared.

when my boss's wife recently had their third and he informed me DD1 had slep thru from 2 weeks and newly arrived DD2 seemed to be following the same pattern, all other parents in the office joked about it, saying why couldn't we have got one of those. we were all just joking around, no harm meant, suspect it's the same in your case.

if i have another i don't think i will worry so deeply about the routine and take DC as i find them, wasted a lot of time when it was really DS calling the shots.

ah well, i only have dd and not much chance of another one.

but, i am borderline ap and endured much critisicm in the first 18m for molly coddling and making rods for my own back.

those same people are full of praise now for how well dd sleeps, eats, takes turns and shares etc.

tbh, it's her nature. she's really at heart a very pleasant child.

now, she has several siblings two of which are utter classics. sds2 was and is a delightfully easy child. sdsd2 was, apparently, a complete sleep/eat nightmare to age 3ish. totaly supernanny material and no apparent reason for it.

i guess, in (not so) short, i am trying to say that each child will be different and it's very easy to be jealous of easy sleepers/eaters. i know i was when dd was still co-sleeping and feeding every 2 hours at 15m.

life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.

you just deal with your child's needs as best you can.

good luck with your next, either way your SIL isn't justified in being rude but she probably is sleep deprived.

Thanks for support Jezzemxmas - some people are just plain nasty , have i mistakenly given some type of message that iam some kind of 'hitler'!? - I am ignoring SIL comments and all other negative comments here - entirely not worth the effort, . actions speaks louder than words, I'LL SHOW EM.

Peony, think you are being too sensitive --

children are indiiduals and all react differently to routines, some follow to the letter others are harder and have sleep issues

must admit nothing used to annoy me more (and still does) that smug mums talking about their angel children sleepig all through the night..mine's still waking up and he's three and a half ...

maybe you should show some sympathy to those who don't have text book perfect kiddies

That isn't a very nice thing to say.

However, you get the baby you are given.

A little of baby behaviour has to do with parenting styles, but mostly they will be what they will be.

Some babies respond to routine others don't.

There is no guarantee that your next baby will react the same way to the same parenting techniques as your first baby. Be prepared.

I used to think that x,y and z was due to my parenting style now I realise it was to do with the children and not me.

But I think it takes having a lot of children before you realise that that is the truth. When you only have 2 or three, or even 4 you think it's all down to you, not so!!!!

I hope you have a great time with your new baby whatever his opr her personality!!