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Original poster

Porn on phone

19 replies

mothermoth · 23/10/2021 01:14

I saw something odd on my partners phone briefly when he was with me but wasn't sure what I'd seen, so (don't hate me) later on when he was out of the room I just opened it because it was bothering me and I had to know. He is quite careful about not leaving his phone lying around but does so sometimes.

There were 2 messages saying "Leah messaged you" and what looked like porn pictures. I couldn't open the messages as I don't have his password (he doesn't have mine either) I was quite surprised cos he has always said he is against porn and knows I am strongly against it. So without sounding totally naive, before I confront him, is there really any possibility the messages could be spam, or unsolicited junk mail? He does browse endless car, motorsport, football sites, has he attracted something unwanted? I know I sound naive, and wouldn't be the first woman to discover a secret porn habit but I dont know how these things work and want to be prepared before I ask him about it and decide what to do. We have been together many years and there's never been anything like this before, generally speaking I trust him and have never had a reason not to, when we've been in hotels with free porn on tv he has expressed his dislike. I don't know what to think and am more upset than I thought I would be. Is it obvious or could he be innocent?

OP posts:
GrimDamnFanjo · 23/10/2021 01:15

Could it be spam?

catfunk · 23/10/2021 01:18

Yes it could be spam
It could be a pop up advert on a porn site

Sorry op but it's pretty naive to think that he doesn't look at porn on his phone.

JohnHunter · 23/10/2021 01:31

I get random messages (eg on Facebook messenger) from bots pretending to be women with pornographic pictures and usually a link to click to contact them...

I'd be surprised if he never looks at porn but this isn't necessarily the smoking gun you think it might be.

Original poster
mothermoth · 23/10/2021 01:32

Are there unsolicited pop up adverts for porn sites? Or has he gone looking? I'm surprisingly upset and not thinking straight. It does seem out of character. I'm being naive, aren't I? I'm going to ask him tomorrow.

OP posts:
NiceGerbil · 23/10/2021 04:09

Were the messages on watsapp, email or what?

sjxoxo · 23/10/2021 04:51

@NiceGerbil

Were the messages on watsapp, email or what?
This. Without more context you can’t possibly know what the situation is. Looking at porn is very different to private direct messaging with someone through WhatsApp for example.. are you worried he is having an affair or just watching porn? I think it’s possible it’s just spam from a football site etc and doesn’t mean anything sinister. It’s also possible he is looking at porn and it’s a spam message. Also possible it’s a direct message. For me the three are very different things. xxx
Anothernick · 23/10/2021 08:38

These kind of messages pop up all the time on porn sites. They are just clickbait for other porn sites, some of which probably have girls you can interact with. I don't know for sure because I have never looked at that kind of site. But the fact that these are just the basic messages suggests that there isn't much to worry about here. Many - perhaps most - men look at porn, it can be a red flag but in most cases it's just wank images. Nothing to worry about if you are happy with your sex life (without getting into the ethics debate).

spotcheck · 23/10/2021 08:41

@JohnHunter

I get random messages (eg on Facebook messenger) from bots pretending to be women with pornographic pictures and usually a link to click to contact them...

I'd be surprised if he never looks at porn but this isn't necessarily the smoking gun you think it might be.

Why do you get those? I've never had one in my life, so just wondering what people do to attract those messages
Metallicalover · 23/10/2021 08:43

Was it his emails? I get a lot of disturbing junk mail from porn sites etc! No idea why!?

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 23/10/2021 08:45

I get those facebook ones too. No idea why as I am the most boring facebooker ever.

If I post a picture it is invariably of my dogs. Don't add any friends I don't know and never respond to random pms.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 23/10/2021 08:47

I also get regular emails from a lovely man in Ukraine who promises me he can make my penis 30% bigger.

KenAddams · 23/10/2021 08:47

I would say spam from football site.. My fave pop up from one of those sites was for a game called cunt wars 😂😂

Pokske · 23/10/2021 08:51

I get this kind of messages on my work email - I'm female and an absolutely not interested in porn. Yesterday a certain Belinda desperately wanted to chat with me, she was "showing off her assets", as the DM would call it.
Not necessarily something your partner has done.

nwLondonDad · 23/10/2021 08:52

Just ask him. You've been together many years so just be open about it. Once you ask he will see you are concerned and answer with the respect you deserve. Although if he laughs about it, it's probably nothing to worry about as he is amused you are concerned by a non-issue.

Booboo24 · 23/10/2021 09:17

My spam junk is full of Russian beauties who want to bang me (their words) apparently, penis enlargement adverts, oh a senior insurance and funeral plans.....I'm a female, happily engaged to man, i don't browse porn sites and I'm 44! It definitely can come out of nowhere, athough god knows what my partner would think if he saw it all!

nwLondonDad · 04/11/2021 23:33

@Booboo24

My spam junk is full of Russian beauties who want to bang me (their words) apparently, penis enlargement adverts, oh a senior insurance and funeral plans.....I'm a female, happily engaged to man, i don't browse porn sites and I'm 44! It definitely can come out of nowhere, athough god knows what my partner would think if he saw it all!
That you're planning a penis enlargement for your dead Russian beauty before her funeral only to make a quick buck from the insurance payout
altmember · 05/11/2021 00:10

The messages could be anything, nothing or something.

Since he knows you're 'strongly against porn', he's hardly going to admit to a different viewpoint himself.

WorraLiberty · 05/11/2021 00:15

It could be spam but to be honest, I don't know that many men who are so strongly against porn, that they don't watch it now and again.

The fact that you are strongly against it, means he's unlikely to let you know that he watches it (if he does).

You mention a 'habit'. What makes you jump to that conclusion rather than occasional or even fairly regular use?

Pinkbucket · 05/11/2021 00:43

@Anothernick

These kind of messages pop up all the time on porn sites. They are just clickbait for other porn sites, some of which probably have girls you can interact with. I don't know for sure because I have never looked at that kind of site. But the fact that these are just the basic messages suggests that there isn't much to worry about here. Many - perhaps most - men look at porn, it can be a red flag but in most cases it's just wank images. Nothing to worry about if you are happy with your sex life (without getting into the ethics debate).
Yes yes let not talk about the abuse of women and girls these sites promote …. So long as menz have their wank material Grin
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