I can't stop judging myself for my lack of experience

[thedollysbuttons]

I'm 28. I was 26 just before Covid kicked off and while I knew I was single and I was still as inexperienced, it didn't seem a big deal. I thought I'd meet someone because I always seemed to be busy.

I feel so empty inside. Every time I meet someone I know or go on FB, someone else the same age as me is married and here I am.

Today at work my colleagues were talking about their first boyfriends/girlfriends. Someone was joking about being embarrassingly old because they were 18 and I wanted to cry. How can I be 28 and I've never kissed anyone?!

I had an OLD date last weekend but he ghosted me afterwards and it's really got to me. I know that there is technically still time, but relationships and intimacy feel like they're getting further and further away.

Not exactly the same but despite having children in my early 20s and a 7 year relationship, I was very inexperienced when it came to intimacy when I met my second partner at 28. My previous ex and I didn't even kiss after the first few months and very rarely slept together... when I met DP2 I felt like I didn't know anything about sex, etc!

I know it's not the exact same situation but I think before then my self confidence was really low. How do you feel when you go on dates? Do you feel confident in yourself or are you worried about your lack of experience? You are so young, I have numerous friends who didn't meet anyone serious until turning 30 and numerous people who were married earlier and now divorced.

It WILL happen. The most important thing is to be happy with yourself, be confident in the person you are - then have lots of fun with a caring partner when you meet the right one! Forget the guy who ghosted, it happens quite a lot on OLD, particularly if they're only looking for a hook up and can tell you're not!

Try join a hobby with like minded people. I always wanted to try speed dating too but I don't know if that's a thing at the moment due to covid!

Everyone's timeline is different. Waiting for someone who respects you is far better than having a lot of 'experience' x

Online dating sounds really touch but I understand why you might feel it's necessary.

How comfortable and confident are you with your own body?

You're being hard on yourself. You're not contractually obliged to be experienced!

For whom do you want to be experienced? Don't fling yourself headlong in to meaningless experiences you don't want just to chalk up experience.

You won't do yourself any good.

26 is young, 28 is young. If you meet somebody, you don't owe them your history.

Please try not to be so hard on yourself. There are many reasons why someone your age may not have had a relationship yet - illness, focus on work, travelling etc. There is no rush or need to get into a relationship just because others your age are.

OLD can be soul destroying due to the lack of respect so many people seem to have for each other. However, it is the way to meet people these days and many successful relationships have come from it, although it is a numbers game. Could you go on dates and just see them as 'a night out' or an 'experience' rather than putting so much pressure on them and hoping they will become something? Just an idea