Family mediation with adult siblings - anyone have any experience?

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My siblings and I are incapable of cooperating to look after our elderly mother and manage the family finances. Incapable. We can't cooperate, we can't discuss, we can't share information and ideas - it just goes on and on. Too much history, too diverse personalities - it just goes on and on.

I wonder if a mediation session with a paid professional (of some sort?) is the right idea. It's the only thing I can think of. We get someone to help us reach an agreement about how we do things and then everyone tries to stick to it. A signed contract would be good.

It wouldn't necessarily be legally binding but with the invovlement of a third party, I would hope people's energy could be focussed on working together.

Any positive stories out there????? thanks

I don't have any stories but from your OP it sounds like you have thought about this a lot and you are trying to reach a workable solution so well done to you. We had a mediation company for something at work and it was useful but quite expensive. Good Luck sounds like a tricky situation.

Thank you. It's a **ing nightmare!

I'm so sorry OP for what you are going through. I have witnessed similar in my family between my mother and her siblings. It's absolutely awful. From my observations, it felt like my mother vs the rest of the family. My mother did get someone involved and she gained agreement on some decisions but as soon as the mediator advised them in a way that didn't support my mother's stance, he was dismissed. It all fell apart. It's one of the reasons 20 years on no one is speaking to each other.

You would need to think about what you want from a mediator - someone to help you make a decision, or someone to advise? How will you pick the mediator? Everyone needs to be happy with the choice otherwise you won't achieve what you are hoping to. What will be the consequences of not following the agreement?

Thank you Asiama. I am thinking things through, as you suggest.

Anyone else tried this?

What you're talking about is "elder mediation" and there are several organisations that offer this if you Google. I'd avoid lawyer mediators as they tend to be very process driven and less confident and capable with high emotions - their style is more negotiating than mediating.

Did you do this and did it work at all?