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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Stuck In a rut

10 replies

Lounew · 20/10/2021 21:42

Hi I've not posted for a while. I seperated from my husband of 20 years last year after some episodes of physical abuse to me over the years . Last year he started to text women from work wen I asked him he became very violent and hit me on several occasions the last time I reported him to the police and was given a reastraing order . .I never wanted this outcome he was my whole world . He as now met and avin a child wiv someone new . I know he is abusive and not healthy but I can't move forward and no one understands how I feel. As anyone got advice or experience plz tell me I will move forward.

OP posts:
GotBeatenUp · 20/10/2021 21:46

It gets easier, trust me, you are well rid.

He will almost certainly be abusive to the new woman.

Sorry you are going through this.

Original poster
Lounew · 20/10/2021 21:52

Thank u . X

OP posts:
GotBeatenUp · 20/10/2021 22:07

You are welcome.

Keep going. It's hard but you are strong. You might feel brittle but there's a core of steel in there.

unicornsarereal72 · 20/10/2021 22:30

I'm 4 years down the line from my ex leaving. I knew it was an unhealthy relationship, but I adored him. It's easier now. But I would still have a dilemma if he turned up on my door step.

I have no idea what the hold is he has but my head rules my heart more now.

Be kind to yourself.

beautifulview · 21/10/2021 08:08

Build your own life. Join clubs and groups. Do exercise. Get yourself out and enjoy your freedom

GotBeatenUp · 21/10/2021 09:24

Find something you enjoy doing that you did without him

Exercise is good - even if you hate it, you will end up working through your anger and will be toned and fitter

Original poster
Lounew · 22/10/2021 06:18

Thanks every one. It's so hard and no one gets it . All is simple in their eyes

OP posts:
GotBeatenUp · 22/10/2021 09:45

i get it @Lounew.
I don't know what happened to XP, and I don't care, but he's probably forgotten all about me other than I was an alcoholic psycho (he was gaslighting me, I am neither). If he ended up with the OW then she is as hoodwinked as I was.

It doesn't really matter that I am well rid, I wake up in the knowledge that Name Surname beat me up, and I go to sleep knowing that Name Surname beat me up. I wake up in the middle of the night and Name Surname beat me up. It is always there in the background

We'll get through it, @Lounew. It's tough, but we'll see brighter times

Dery · 23/10/2021 01:32

You might also find it helpful to read Women Who Love Too Much.

Original poster
Lounew · 23/10/2021 10:01

Thanks for the advice my head knows he is a piece of scum who abused me because I worshipped him . My heart is still catching up x

OP posts:
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