Unsupportive/uninterested mum

[Christingle]

My mum never seems to hold an interest in anything I say or do. When I was doing my driving lessons she would always change the subject or act uninterested whenever I mentioned them and one time when a car insurance advert came on tv my younger sister (who was 10 at the time) said "that's for you...because you're always going on about your driving lessons!" and my mum looked really embarrassed and uncomfortable so its obviously something she'd said.

When I started my uni degree she would change the subject whenever I mentioned it, one time I told her my current course counted towards a degree in social work and she replied with "there meatballs arnt as nice as last time are they?" completely uninterested.

If ever I mention my snake (ok I know they're not everyones choice of pet but I love him to bits and she knows it) she just puts on a bored voice. I told her I was worried about him as he hasnt eaten for months and she just sounded bored and said "oh" and then changed the subject.

The latest one is that I'm planning to move house soon and she's very "Bored" sounding when I mention it, I think its because she wants to move but her husband wont "let her". If I mention the kids karate I get "oh, you there tonight?" again in a bored voice. Last week I mentioned that my ds had got his first grading, a red tag on his white belt and she replied distractidly with "Oh, whats the next one? black belt?" err...yeah sure, black belt about 6 months of training

Am I thinking about this too much or would it bother you? surely I'm not that boring am I? I always listen and talk about what she wants to talk about and she just rattles on and half the time I dont get word in edgeways and when I do she doesn't want to know.

What's your mum's life like? Dull? Sounds like she might be jealous of you..maybe?

i second what LAG just said...deffo.
your life sounds quite interesting
can your mum drive?
it really seems like she's green with envy at your freedom (as she sees it, by the looks of it)

Christingle - Me and you must have the same mum . Mine is exactly the same and it pisses me off so much that I hardly go around her place anymore. She is totally uninterested in what I do have done/achieved etc.

Sympathies. Just keep your distance for a while.

I have no idea why some mums act like this, she (my mum) is totally different toward my sister and seems interested in her life.

What LoveAngelGabriel said.

she sounds a bit bitter to me. she's envious of your full and interesting life. jealous of your get up and go.

i don't know if you can change her or if you even want to. i wonder if it's worth trying to get her out and about? or is she full of excuses as to why she can't?

If she is bitter then I think that is really sad - how can a mother be bitter toward her child? She should be proud and happy of everything you have achieved.

I would avoid her for a while and if she asks you why then tell her straight. I intend doing this as I have mentioned above - my mother is exactly the same.

There was an interesting article in the Times the other week about jealous mothers. It seems so taboo to envy one's children, but if you're a generally jealous person, then I don't suppose you can help it.

My mil can barely disguise the fact that she resents the fact that we have a bigger house than she has. She snipes about it being in less good area than where she lives, or how it is dull here, or how it's not a proper community. Her face goes all pointy when someone has something she doesn't. It's not a pretty sight.

why don't you just stop talking next time and say 'sorry I appear to be boring you?' and await her response...

I also have one of these unsupportive and uninterested dare I say jealous Mothers. I would also say she acts completely differently with regards to my younger brother - she can't do enough for him (he lives alone and she cleans his house regularly although it has the appearance of a showhome). I thus keep her at arms length much of the time although I do maintain a relationship of sorts with her (mainly a phone based one nowadays). Avoidance as much as possible has been a way forward for me.

I don't know all that much about her own childhood; her parents, well my late Nan was lovely to us but her own father (my late grandad) could be stern at times. She has taken after him in terms of her own nature.

"When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends" is a good book to read by Victoria Secunda.