The ex wife

[Ohdear12345]

I've been with my partner a while now and he was married for over 20 years beforehand. They've been divorced 5 years and have 2 sons aged 18 and 15. I'm also divorced with 3 small boys.

My partners ex wife is still very much in love with him and calls him pretty much daily crying and needing his emotional support. He has no boundaries in place with her due to the guilt he carries on leaving her. She dictates how our relationship works, she asks him to do errands on the days she knows we are due to meet, she rings whenever I'm over for hour long crying phonecalls, she even banned him from seeing me during lockdown over Christmas as she told him I might give their kids covid. He goes along with everything as he is worried she will stop him from seeing the boys or badmouth him to them...she's done both before. But it leaves me frustrated. I have a great relationship with my ex so none of these issues. Has anyone else dealt with a difficult ex wife and partner who won't stand up to them? What did you do?

No, he hasn't been manipulative, I've witnessed her do the manipulation piece with the kids on several occasions and pulled her up personally on it a few times.

I agree he needs to man up for both our sakes though and that the issue is predominantly his.

How long have you been together? My partner is the same & doesn't stand up to his exw. I was advised on MN to end it. I didn't & 2 years on we're having the same conversations about his wife ( split up 9 years ago, in the middle of a divorce now). He is a lovely man, but tbh his lack of backbone is becoming a turn off. I think our relationship is on its last legs because he can't let go of the past. Shame as we've had such great times together.
What I'm trying to say is don't let the situation to drag on, it will ruin your relationship eventually.

It's been almost 2 years. I had it out with him last night and he is coming over Sunday to discuss.....

My boyfriend's ex wife is a little similar so I feel your pain. Constant communication and causing alot of drama . Threats about not seeing the kids, despite the fact they are teens. Asking for lots of favours, likes him generally running around.

He's managed to cut all the favours unless they are to do with the kids. The communication is alot harder , she's relentless with it across email, text and WhatsApp plus calls . In contact every single day.