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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Work crush

15 replies

Zig27 · 19/10/2021 20:11

I have been temping for a few months. There is a guy at work. We didn’t speak much at first as it’s a busy workplace. The last few weeks we have chatted a lot more and got on quite well and had a laugh.

I recently went to an interview and got the job. I was quite upset to be leaving as I have enjoyed working at the temp place but it’s too far to travel to. He saw me crying at work. He was kind and reassuring and took some time out to chat to me telling me I should take the job. He then confessed he had an interview arranged and was fed up working here.

He gave me his number to message him my interview questions as I had done well on my interview. He never replied but that's understandable as he is married and doesn't know if I would show colleagues the interview chat.

He since told me he got the job too. I was really pleased for him. Today I noticed he was copying my body language which they say is a sign that a man is interested. I would not mess around with a married man but feel sad I wont see him again after this week as I am leaving. It feels ridiculous to be having a work crush. I think its cos I rarely meet decent guys dating and he had some great qualities.

OP posts:

KirstenBlest · 19/10/2021 20:14

I rarely meet decent guys dating and he had some great qualities.
He has a wife.

StripeyBadger · 19/10/2021 20:16

It sounds to me as if you are reading too much into it. He likely sees you as a colleague, and it sounds like he asked you for something career related and wasn’t inappropriate about it. However, if you aren’t convincing yourself that his body language shows he fancies you, then he’s not really sounding like a decent man considering he is married.

TheVanguardSix · 19/10/2021 20:18

Don't fucking touch this with a barge pole. Seriously. I did and it ended up being the mother of all disasters. Seriously. Don't.
Start your new job and move on. Find love with an umarried person. Please. Do this for YOU, above all else.

Original poster

Zig27 · 19/10/2021 20:29

@TheVanguardSix I completely agree, I certainly wont go there as I deserve better and it would be unfair on his wife. I get fed up of married men flirting behind their wives backs.

OP posts:

samesign · 19/10/2021 20:39

The feelings will soon go when you stop seeing him around. See the crush a light hearted positive thing, it's a release from thinking about other stressful things in life.
I have a crush on a client at work and although nothing would ever happen, it brightens my day up a bit.

hg165 · 19/10/2021 21:29

[quote Zig27]@TheVanguardSix I completely agree, I certainly wont go there as I deserve better and it would be unfair on his wife. I get fed up of married men flirting behind their wives backs.[/quote]
Firstly, is he actually flirting behind his wife's back? if your biggest indicators of his flirting are are:
1)he asked for interview tips,
2) asked you were ok when you were crying, and
3) you possibly noticed him 'copying' your body language - I'd say you might be clutching at straws.

& 2) are normal colleague behaviour. I wouldn't bat an eyelid if my DH did 1&2 with a colleague at work. Also, he had your number and didn't even send a friendly response let alone a flirty one.
is a pretty weak indicator on its own - and it's possible you've misinterpreted this as you seem to be so desperately hoping the crush is mutual

IF I've missed something & he is flirting, he's not a decent guy anyway

Aquamarine1029 · 19/10/2021 21:31

Delete his number immediately. Only trouble lies ahead if you start communicating with him outside of work.

tootootaataa · 19/10/2021 21:37

Everything PP's have said!

Fantasize if you must but do not let it enter RL.

Alonghairinapie · 19/10/2021 23:51

Well you are considering it as you are trying to figure out if he fancies you by analysing micro details. Why? That road is paved with pain and shit.

Original poster

Zig27 · 20/10/2021 07:50

Thank you all for your advice. I have deleted his number, I don’t need the hassle.

OP posts:

Alonghairinapie · 20/10/2021 14:47

Good for you op, saved yourself a world of pain trust me.

MrMrsJones · 20/10/2021 16:55

I would block it too, as he has your number and could text you.

Move on and leave him behind

StripeyBadger · 21/10/2021 10:57

[quote Zig27]@TheVanguardSix I completely agree, I certainly wont go there as I deserve better and it would be unfair on his wife. I get fed up of married men flirting behind their wives backs.[/quote]
Unless there is a lot more you haven’t mentioned, there is nothing to suggest he is flirting with you or even interested.

DrGoogleSaysSo · 23/10/2021 18:02

All the behaviour you've described could have been of a female colleague and you wouldn't think that she was flirting with you.

Original poster

Zig27 · 23/10/2021 23:57

@DrGoogleSaysSo

All the behaviour you've described could have been of a female colleague and you wouldn't think that she was flirting with you.

I didn't realise I had the wrong number for him which is why he didn't reply. The last few days before we left he kept telling me he will contact me once I am gone. I think I am better off out of there, I don't need the drama.

OP posts:

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