Guess what I found in between the sofa cushions last night?

[Dildals]

Last night I saw something poking out between the sofa cushions. I thought it was a KitKat wrapper. I pulled it out and it turned out to be a condom wrapper!!! WTAF!!!

My husband (pains me to write that word) and me are getting divorced, he is moving out in 2 weeks time, but JEZUS would it have pained him greatly to:

• wait until he had moved out
• not do it in the family home
• TIDY UP HIS SHIT

I was feeling quite benevolent for the last few weeks, even offered to help him move, what a fucking saint am I? Or a complete idiot. One or the other.

I did go up and ask him but he didn't want to tell me what the story was with the wrapper.

This morning I said that I found it quite disrespectful to do it in the family home, on MY sofa (I will never be able to look at sofa again, it's gotta go) and LEAVE THE WRAPPER. I am actually most upset about the last bit. I could have been blisfully unaware. He took no responsibility or apologised, he just said I was jumping to conclusions, haha, yeah, not many other conclusions one can jump to if you find a discarded condom wrapper I would say.

Anyway. Just needed a vent. He's moving out in TWO WEEKS and then we are SHOT of him. Apart from the small matter of parenting 2 children.

Christ what an absolute knob.

Better a wrapper than a splodge mark!

What a bastard. I would think she has a partner as otherwise wouldn't he have gone there?

You're clearly better off with him out of your life ... in case you'd previously had any doubts
Onwards and upwards for you

Maybe he didn't do the deed but left it there to see your reaction?
Make you jealous type thing

Oh dirty bastard

Well rid

Sorry you had to go through this

I don't suppose you have teenagers and could of been them??

From your post I'm guessing not and I'm with you what a Kn*b you will feel so much better when he leaves.

I had to endue my exH speaking to his new flame on the phone late at night while we divorced. Talking about wanting to see her naked - he also received tablets through the post called "testosto-ram" or something like that anyway. I Googled them and they are designed to ... erm enhance performance..... This was all while we were trying to sell the house and I thought that was bad enough. If I'd found an empty condom wrapper I think I would of totally lost it!!

Ew get yourself a new couch the minute he's out the door

Do you think he’s actually done that though? I’d assume a posh wank, or as pp suggested he could have placed that there to upset you. He’d have to have some front to actually bring a woman back and shag her in the family home

I agree with posters saying he might of done it to get a reaction (knobbish behaviour!) my ex left unused ones in the living room right out in the open where the kids could of seen them - yuk yuk yuk. I picked them up, threw them at him and said to not ever do that again - It didn't get the reaction he wanted - me realising I was throwing our marriage away, we need to make it work blah blah blah.

Its nearly over OP. Once he's gone, new sofa shopping ;)

Or maybe a posh wank?

Yes he could have left it there to goad you

Was thinking of the same thing…

@junglejane66

Or maybe a posh wank?

no such thing

that's just a story some people have been told.

More likely the wrapper has fallen out of his back pocket and then gone down the side of the sofa surely?

I mean, he's still having his end away with someone somewhere but it takes a vile kind of human to do it on the family sofa.

If he's moving out in 2 weeks I'm guessing you are already separated?. Most likely it came out of his pocket. Good that he's having safe sex.

What the hell is a posh wank?

@HollowTalk

What a bastard. I would think she has a partner as otherwise wouldn't he have gone there?

What? Why can’t she come to his house if the op isn’t there?

@JingsMahBucket

What the hell is a posh wank?

"Darling, what's this used condom doing under the sofa?"

"Oh, um, er, I, er, used it on my own. No woman involved. Definitely not. Just me on my own. I just love the sensation and the rubbery smell."

Could he have planted it just to be a knob?

@Bluntness100 theyre still married and living together, very disrespectful in my opinion I would not be happy at all

Anybody who suggests that ‘posh wanks’ don’t exist need to wake up - they do exist and happen fairly often.

Men generally dislike using condoms, so why anyone believes they would pop one on to have a wank is laughable.

@JingsMahBucket

What the hell is a posh wank?

A well peddled myth. Supposedly the barrier of the condom makes it feel like someone else is wanking you. Newsflash.... socks will do the same job, are already available and just go in the wash so no one is wasting of faffing with condoms. Unless to prevent pregnancy which obvs requires a female. Source= adult DS 's.

Sounds like you're well shot Dildals
Disrespectful bellend.

@corblimeygov

Better a wrapper than a splodge mark!

That is definitely true!

@Soupseason

If he's moving out in 2 weeks I'm guessing you are already separated?. Most likely it came out of his pocket. Good that he's having safe sex.

He is still living here though! Could he not have waited two weeks/not do it in the family home/not do it on my sofa?

I doubt it just came out of his pocket ... it was an opened wrapper ...

But yes, I am of course, thrilled he is practicing safe sex. I wouldn't want to wish my soon to be exH an STD ...