Long story short.. I am in a relationship with a man for the last 18 months. I began the relationship a year after my exh walked out with affair partner.
I always put him first throughout marriage to keep him happy and prevent angry outbursts.he was a useless husband and father .... deeply unhappy and unfulfilled.
So here I am gloriously happy in an equal and mutual relationship.
My issue is that after my breakup I soughtcounselling and realised that in my marriage, my communication skills were shit , probably because everytime I asked my husband to do anything I was a nag , when I made a joke he took insult to it , when I stood up to him he roared at me and the kids so I belittled myself to keep the peace.
I find myself now almost testing my present boyfriend or unintentionally setting him up to fail. For example, he has his kids on one of the weekends that I am free. He can see me on one of the nights but it's his closest friends birthday on that night and I'm wondering which he will choose . We only see one another eow and a night on the alternate weekend. He hasn't spent any time with his friends really since restrictions lifted as he has been with me or his kids so I know of it was me, I would go to my friends party. I can't join him as we have no accommodation in that city so he will stay at a friends house.
I understand logically that it would be entirely natural to go to his friends birthday night but at the same time , I find myself regressing into old ways. I will see him at some stage over that weekend so it's not like I won't see him for a week !
Any experience or advice here ??