I separated from my STBXH because he had been using the services of sex workers. It was a long marriage, he had lied to me over a few years, and discovering the truth has had a devastating effect upon me. He refused to leave our home so I had to move out to a rental property. Hardly anyone knows what he's done apart from close family and a couple of friends.
From the outside I think it could seem like I've been the one who has left him. I've received a couple of blank stares from my old neighbours. I'm worried there might be a smear campaign going on. Also, we were part of a dog walking community and none of them know the truth, only that I've left. When he has the dog he meets up with them and I think a few of them have given him the sympathetic treatment, whereas I am having to build a new set of dog-walking friends where I now am, which takes time. I'm certainly not looking for sympathy, but I can't shake the feeling that he's getting all the sympathy simply because people don't know the truth of what he's done. He can be very, very charming and a lot of people would just assume I was lying about him visiting prostitutes had he not directly admitted what he'd done to me.
I'm trying to keep communication with him to a minimum but I feel so powerless and it makes me feel like he can continue to abuse me indirectly because it appears from the outside that he's done nothing to deserve me leaving him. Does anyone have any experience of how to get through this?